


The First Time

by msinformed13



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Domestic Violence, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 16:45:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 23,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8924596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msinformed13/pseuds/msinformed13
Summary: "The first time Daniel raises a hand to her, Regina doesn't flinch. She doesn't take a step back, she doesn't even feel fear flicker across her face, she knows he won't hit her." non magic AU in which Regina and Daniel were college sweethearts with an abusive relationship, and Emma comes to the rescue SwanQueen





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N- This story is dark and twisty, I'm dark and twisty, the world is dark and twisty.
> 
> AU in which Regina and Daniel met in college and fell in love (abusive domestically violent love) and move to Storybrooke where Regina meets a fiercly protective Deputy Sherif determined to save her.
> 
> WARNING- this story contains abuse (physically and verbal) and allusions to non-consentual sex (nothing explicit) don't read if that makes you uncomfy.

...

"Don't play his game. Play yours."  
― Rachel Caine, Fall of Night

...

The first time Daniel raises a hand to her, Regina doesn't flinch. She doesn't take a step back, she doesn't even feel fear flicker across her face.

She knows he won't hit her.

She plows on with her angry rant, years later she won't even know what that fight was about, all she'll remember is the shadow of something passing behind his eyes, something that she's never seen before.

He doesn't hit her. He brings his hand up, an open palm, halfway in the air between the two of them like he can't quite decide if he wants to pull it back to land a slap across her cheek, or cup the tan skin. His hand shakes for a second before he drops it back to his side in defeat.

Regina feels the trace of something curl in her stomach when he turns to leave. As he slams her door behind him, she realizes that thing is relief.

She is twenty two, and she thinks she knows everything. She knows he wouldn't have hit her.

…

The first time that Daniel lashes out, he doesn't lay a hand on her. They're fighting again, it seems they do that more than anything lately. This time it's because Regina had asked for his opinion on a speech she has to give before the student senate the next day.

Regina still doesn't know what set him off, but suddenly her legal pad was on the floor, they were both on their feet, staring at each other with something like rage in their eyes.

Regina is vaguely amazed that someone hasn't come to knock on the door and tell them to keep it down yet, it's finals week, and they're at the most prestigious school in the nation, the nerds need their quiet to study.

"It's important to me I just thought you might like to pretend that you care for two seconds!" Regina shouted, her hands curling at her sides, prepared to storm out.

"That's it Regina, it's always something important to you, your meetings, your classes, your internships, you don't give a fuck about me anymore!" He yells right back.

The woman's eyebrows raise in realization, "Oh, don't tell me you're jealous." Her lips curl in a slight smirk. It would make sense, they were both extremely driven people, and it was only natural to try and compare.

Regina watches his face turn bright red in denial, "I'm not jealous of you." He spits.

The brunette pretends that the way in which he throw the phrase at her doesn't cut her to the bone, "Good, so long as you're proud of your accomplishments." She shoots back.

She knows that she's antagonizing him, and she doesn't care at this point.

Daniel's fists clench and unclench before his rage takes over him and he whirls around, rocketing his fist into the drywall of his dorm room.

Regina jumps when his hand makes contact and breaks through. Immediately, he is withdrawing the limb and holding it to himself.

"Fuck." He curses.

Regina does not leave. Tears instinctively well up in the corners of his eyes from the pain, and he looks so much like the nineteen year old with floppy hair she fell in love with three years ago, she can't just leave him like this.

She tells him to sit down, and she goes to get him ice. They spend the night together in Daniel's dorm room, where they both whisper apologies in the dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Warning- this chapter is quite sexual assault driven (nothing too explicit)

...

"She couldn't get any farther away inside from her skin. She couldn't get away."  
― Cynthia Voigt,  _When She Hollers_

_..._

The first time he does not ask for permission is the summer after they graduate college. They're both planning on returning to the city for graduate school, but for the week, they're staying with Regina's family in upstate New York.

It's the day that they've arrived, and Regina's father has already kidnapped Daniel to help with some project or other in the yard. Regina's brought him home enough times, and Zelena's here with her husband as well, so they know that whatever 'project' the men are working on is more of male bonding time than anything else.

That evening Regina and Zelena are washing the dishes from dinner in the kitchen when Daniel comes in from the front room where he had been talking with Cora.

He wraps his arms around his girlfriend's waist from behind, and presses sweet kisses into her neck. Regina sighs happily and lets him go on for a little before pushing him away.

"Get out of here." She admonishes lightly.

Daniel smiles regretfully, keeping a gentle hold on her wrist "But I miss you, baby."

Regina blushes while Zelena smirks, "Later." She says, giving him one solid kiss before pushing him out of the kitchen.

"So cute." Zelena laughs once he's out of earshot. Regina rolls her eyes. She ends up spending much more time than she had anticipated catching up with her sister in the kitchen, and when she finally does make it upstairs to bed, she's dead tired.

Daniel is already in bed, and she assumes he's asleep until strong arms wrap around her from behind. Regina snuggles back into his hold, content in the safety of his arms until his hands start wandering. One covers one of her breasts over her shirt, the other easily slips beneath the waistband of her shorts and underwear.

Regina takes a hold of his wrist to pull the hand in her pants away, "Not tonight, I'm exhausted."

Daniel doesn't remove the hand, "Come on, babe." He tries, pressing wet kisses along her neck, "I'll be quick."

Regina squirms against his exploring fingers, trying to scoot away, both her hands on his arm, though she's no match for him, "I'm just not in the mood Daniel."

Finally, he pauses his movements, though doesn't retract either hand, "Regina, you promised. Besides, I spent all day running circles around the woods with your father."

He doesn't say he deserves it, but they both know it's implied.

Regina feels her fight die in the back of her throat, and her hands stop trying to pull his away. He takes this as invitation, and presses two fingers into her.

She isn't wet, and it hurts, but she grits her teeth against the hiss of pain. True to his word, he is quick after he lets his pajama pants pool around his ankles and he enters her, setting a fast pace. He stretches her uncomfortably, and when he does finish, Regina releases a breath she doesn't realize she had been holding.

She tries not to think about how the circle of his arms feels more like a cage than the safe haven it had been mere minutes ago.


	3. Chapter 3

...

"Even those who drink until blacking out, those who beat women, are not the exception, hopefully not the norm, trapped somewhere in society in a dark place nobody wants to talk about."

― Justin Donner, i just woke up dead: a memoir

...

The first time he lays a hand on her drunk is years later.

They've been married for three years, and Daniel's job has sent them relocating from the city to Storybrooke, Maine. It's an incredibly small town, but the mining company Daniel works for sees a lot of potential.

They just moved into a beautiful house when Daniel comes home drunk one night. It's not a new occurrence, and he's not even the most drunk that Regina's ever seen him (he's nowhere near a drunk, but he does enjoy the occasional boys night out. Though, he's had to slow down from his college days) but his eyes aren't totally clear when he lets the front door close a little louder than normally.

"Regina?" He calls into the empty foyer.

The brunette comes out of the kitchen where she'd been baking. Granted it's past midnight, it's how she lets go of her stress, and the move hasn't exactly been the easiest thing for her.

"Daniel?"

"Come to bed?" He asks, kicking off his shoes in the general direction of the closet, and hanging his coat on the rack near the door.

"In a few minutes, I've got some things in the oven." Regina smiles, his hair is doing the thing where it sticks up violently in the back. It reminds her of the times in college they would stay up late studying, the boy would always run his hands through his hair when he was trying to focus.

He walks down the hall to meet her, she lets him hug her, and bury his face in her hair, "Come on Regina." He tries to convince her.

"Twenty minutes, I promise."

"What are you baking anyway?" He asks drawing back to peer towards the kitchen.

"Just some turnovers for a few neighbors who helped us move in."

A shadow passes over his face, but Regina misses it she has already gone back into the kitchen to begin cleaning up, "For David?"

"Of course, he was so kind helping carry in the couch. He even came over yesterday to help me put together that desk we bought for the study. You know how useless I am when it comes to those things."

"So you're baking for him." Daniel clarifies. This time, Regina catches the edge in his voice, and she keeps her back to him while she puts the flour away in the pantry.

"Yes, I am."

There's a pause before Daniel spits, "Do you want to fuck him?"

Regina rounds on him, eyes flashing, "Of course not! Why would you even ask that Daniel?"

"Why didn't you ask me for help with the desk? Am I not enough for you anymore?"

Their voices were both steadily rising, Regina crossed her arms angrily over her chest, "You're drunk and you're being ridiculous."

"I'm ridiculous? After all I've done for you, that's how you're repaying me, insulting me and fucking the neighbors?" Daniel's eyes narrow dangerously, and for the first time in her life, Regina admits this feeling to herself, she's afraid of him.

But she's Regina Mills, and she won't back down, "I don't need you to do anything for me! I graduated magna cum laude, I had a career in the city that I left to come to this nowhere town with you, because I love you! And now you're accusing me of-"

Regina never gets to finish what she is being accused of as she is cut of by a resounding smack. Most precisely the echoing smack of Daniel's palm connecting with her cheek.

Her head whips around with the force of the slap, and she stumbles, only managing to keep her feet by making a grab for the counter to steady herself. Adding insult to injury, her hip collides sharply on the edge of the counter.

Eerie silence falls over the kitchen, broken only by the couple's heavy breathing until Regina raises a hand to the stinging cheek. When it comes away streaked with the slightest bit of blood, she knows that she must have a small split on her lip.

Daniel is the first to say anything, "I'm so sorry, Gina." He immediately says, stepping forwards. Regina doesn't flinch back, she never flinches, she just stares blankly at his suddenly sober expression.

"I didn't mean it." He says, reaching around her to grab a towel and wet it for her to press to her lip, "I just love you so much." He promises, "I love you so much, I just lost control." He babbles.

Regina remains silent, holding the towel to her lip.

"You know how much I love you, right?" Daniel asks, reaching around her to pull the brunette into a tight desperate hug, he kisses her hair, "I'm so sorry, it will never happen again. You know I love you?"

"Yes, Daniel." Regina finally manages to whisper, "I know."

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Enter Emma

**...**

"Sure relationships include arguments, but pain is not a side-effect of love."

― Tyler Oakley, Binge

...

The first time someone asks what happened is David's wife the day after. She's kind, just a few years older than Regina, with the sort of warm eyes that make you feel safe.

Regina still has yet to find a job here in Storybrooke so she's home during the day when she decides to go and drop off the turnovers to David's house.

To her surprise, his wife opens the door. Her eyes are bright, and her stomach is round with three months of pregnancy, and she doesn't take no for an answer when she invites Regina in for a cup of coffee.

They settle in this adorable breakfast nook with the late July sunlight streaming through. Regina learns that Mary Margaret teaches at the elementary school, she and David are high school sweethearts, he is the Sheriff, and they moved here looking for somewhere slower to start their lives together.

Regina is halfway through her cup of coffee when suddenly, Mary Margaret's eyebrows knit together in concern, "What's happened to your lip?"

Regina's hand automatically flies to where she knows Daniel split it open yesterday. Her makeup must have worn off, exposing the injury, "It's nothing, I just-"

The brunette never has to figure out how she planned to end that sentence because the sound of the front door draws the womens' attention. It opens loudly, hitting the wall opposite before there's muffled curse and a much louder shout of, "Sorry M n' M!"

Mary Margaret looks torn between admonishing whoever is blundering through her foyer, and pressing the matter further with Regina. She is saved from making the decision when the other person makes their way through the house to find the two women, "David left his radio here, and he sent me to get it." The voice gets to them before its owner arrives.

"It's on the kitchen counter." Mary Margaret instructs the blonde woman who arrives, she is still looking at Regina with a margin of concern.

"Got it." The woman emerges from the kitchen with the electronic held victoriously. Regina stands, she needs to leave before Mary Margaret has the chance to ask her the question again.

The blonde just smiles kindly at her, completely blocking her exit, "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." She says.

Mary Margaret rolls her eyes at the blonde's antics, "Emma, this is Regina, she's just moved in next door with her husband. Regina, Emma is the deputy sheriff, she works with David." Mary Margaret does the introductions.

Emma holds out her hand politely to shake Regina's, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You as well." Regina assures, "I really must be getting back now." She rushes out in one breath, "Thank you for the coffee Mary Margaret." She says, before practically sprinting from the house.

Emma and Mary Margaret watch her go.

"What's her story?" Emma finally asks.

"I don't know, but I'm worried about her."

"You've known her one day." Emma laughs, "You're just worried about everyone."

"This feels different." Mary Margaret replies shaking her head.  
"Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones getting to you." Emma suggests.

The brunette smacks her, "Now you sound like David, get back to work."


	5. Chapter 5

...

"Anyone could see that this woman is living a nightmare. Except that she goes through her daily life wide awake, knowing that she could make a mistake at any moment."

― Núria Añó

...

The first time he lays a hand on her sober is nearly three months later. There's an opening on the city council and Regina's decided to run for office, she hasn't had a job since she left her position at a law firm in the city to move with Daniel.

She's just gotten home from a long run, her hair- pulled back in a tiny ponytail- slightly damp with sweat, and dirt dusting the backs of her calves from the forest path she had been on. She's feels like she's on top of the world, it's been weeks since she's done anything productive, and she finally figured out the forest enough to be confident running through there.

Daniel is there, which is only a little bit odd considering it's relatively early in the afternoon on a Thursday.

But Regina doesn't really fixate on that, rather she's more focused on why Daniel is pacing up and down the entryway.

She treads carefully, not knowing what has set Daniel off, "Hey." She smiles, "You're home early."

Daniel ignores pleasantries, "When were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what, dear?"

"You're running for city council." He says like it's an accusation.

"I just decided to run yesterday." Regina replies, immediately on the defensive. It's not a position she's used to taking, but it's one she's been taking more and more with him. She catches herself, realizing what she's doing, and trying to turn it around, "I wasn't aware I had to ask your permission first."

This only serves to set him off more. He stops his pacing, and instead closes the distance between him and Regina. She can feel how much taller he is than her, and it infuriates her more than anything else.

"I wasn't aware I had to hear about my wife's plans from a coworker." He shoots right back.

For that, Regina is slightly guilty, he shouldn't have been blindsided like that, but all the same it shouldn't be this big of a deal, she can't just stay at home doing nothing forever.

She's never much been one for the barefoot in the kitchen, raising kids aesthetic.

Regina carefully watches the way his hands are clenching at his sides. She can feel his breath hot at her cheek with each exhale, and she can't help it- she pushes him just that bit further.

"Well don't worry, I'll try not to embarrass you at the office anymore." Regina shoots back sarcastically.

She stares him down while she prepares her next shot. At this point she knows she's baiting him, but she wants this.

She wants to see the fight fall from his shoulders, to see him run a hand through his hair, mussing it up horribly in the back, turn around, pace three steps away before coming back, put his hands reassuringly on her shoulders, press a sweet kiss to her lips and say, 'you're right my queen'. Like he used to when they fought in their early days. When they lived in dorm rooms and had to sneak past roommates, when their arguments were ridiculous and the winner didn't ever really matter.

"Heaven forbid I put your ego at risk." She baits, and for a second she watches his shoulders drop like she knew they would, but it's only a second before the blow comes.

The force of it combined with her unexpecting stance sends her to the floor immediately, only pausing to briefly collide with the wall of the front hallway before she settles on the ground. Regina doesn't bother to try and stand, rather, she adjusts her legs, holding herself up on her elbows, unconsciously trying to figure out how best to protect both her head and her spine should Daniel try anything else.

He apologizes, runs a hand through his hair, holds out a hand to help her stand up. Regina doesn't flinch away- she never does- but she doesn't take his hand when she stands up. Rather she pushes herself up on her own, avoiding the door handle (for some reason that feels like a sign of weakness).

She straightens her jacket, pulls her ponytail just that much tighter before bringing herself up to her fullest possible height. She stares at him coldly, his hair is sticking straight up in the back just like it always used to.

She doesn't wait for his explanation before turning and walking straight back out the door. When she comes back that night, Daniel is gone.

She locks the door of the master bedroom and tries desperately to fall asleep. She hears him come home at some point in the early morning, he does not try to open the door to their room, and she doesn't open it for him.

In the morning, Regina gets up before Daniel does (having gotten no sleep) and goes for a run. Or at least decides to, she goes to her bathroom, sees the bruising evidence of last night on her cheek, she doesn't bother with makeup- it's five in the morning, nobody should be out anyway- and she passes Daniel sleeping on the couch.

...

The first time Regina lies for him is that morning.

Nobody should have been out at five in the morning, nobody should be running through the forest on old back roads, nobody should have been out to see Regina and her purpling face, but Emma was.

They run into each other quite literally when Regina turns a corner sharply, right into Emma. The blonde jumps back with an apology already spilling from her lips. She has this sheepish grin on her face that melts Regina just the smallest amount.

She forgets why it is that her legs are burning, why she's run nearly twelve miles in the past nine hours, why she's in the middle of a forest at five in the morning when Emma smiles at her, and runs her hand through her tousled blonde ponytail.

But it all comes crashing back to her when Emma's eyes finally jump up to meet hers and Emma's widened in concern, "What the hell happened?"

The sudden change in tone straightens Regina's spine, "Nothing." She replies, a little too quickly.

"Regina, this is the second time I've seen you looking something like Mike Tyson in the last three months. Is something going on that you need to tell me about?"

Regina's lips tighten, "I don't need to tell you anything." The brunette pulls herself up to her full height, prepared for a battle. One which never comes.

Rather, Emma curls in on herself, "Right, I'm sorry for intruding." She tells the toes of her sneakers which are digging into the dirt of the path.

Regina can't find it in herself to stay mad with the blonde looking so sheepish. She's the one who's bruised, and yet she feels like if she moves too quickly, she might scare Emma away, "Don't apologize. It's not your fault." Regina says.

"It's just-" Emma starts haltingly, she rubs the back of her neck, "If you ever want someone to talk to - I just-" The blonde drops her hand from her neck and finally meets Regina's gaze, deadly serious, "I'm always out here early in the morning if you ever want someone to run with, or anything."

Regina nods, "Thank you." She says, because they both know this is the closest they will get to what they both want to say right now.

Regina does not go running early the next day, or the day after. She runs at night after Daniel gets home from work, always leaving food for him in the kitchen, going out, and coming back after he's already in bed. They sleep facing away from each other in the bed, Regina doesn't sleep anymore, not really. Instead she gets small chunks of time she threads together like popcorn on a string around a tree, never quite enough to make her feel rested.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- This one is more graphic, dark and twisty.

...

"She counts the tiles on the

cold bathroom floor

lays her secrets out like stones

square by square

tile by tile

she doesn't feel anymore."

― Diana Rasmussen, Snow White Darkness

...

The first time he hits her with a closed hand is four months after that.

Regina's successfully elected to the city council, and she's even appointed over a few subcommittees. It feels so great for her to be back in the swing of things, even if it's only a small job working in local politics, it feels like she has purpose again.

One of her subcommittee is working with the sheriff's department on public safety, and on this particular night she has stayed late at the office working with David and Emma on events that they will be providing a police presence at in the coming season.

She returns home sometime around eight thirty, after depositing her coat in the front closet, she finds Daniel coming down the hallway with a drink. For half a second, Regina believes that he's coming to welcome her home, that he realized she had to work late, and he had poured her a glass of cider when he heard her come in the door.

Then the smell of scotch hit her nose, and she saw Daniel's disheveled appearance, and knew her assumption was off base.

He finishes the drink with a single swig and wince at the burn before putting the tumbler on the sideboard next to one of Regina's crystal vases with flowers.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I would be home late." Regina begins, testing the waters to see what sort of encounter this is going to be, "I just got caught up at work."

"With David?"

Immediately something clenches in Regina's gut, she knows where this is going, and she gets a sort of steely resolve behind her shoulders.

"Yes, David was there, he had to leave earlier than I did though, his wife needed help putting the baby to bed, have you met their son Neal yet?" Regina asks, making a point to try and head off what she knows will come next.

Daniel's shoulders slump, and for just a moment, Regina can see the nineteen year old boy who couldn't make eye contact with her when he asked her out for the very first time, "No, I haven't." He says, and though he's definitely drunk (Regina can smell it on him), he seems to soften the smallest bit, "Let's go to bed." He suggests, closing the distance between them, and placing his hands on her hips.

They feel too large, too restraining, Regina can't help the little flinch backwards at his touch, and though he's drunk, he's not out of it enough to ignore the move.

"What?"

"Nothing." Regina lies, "I just don't feel up to it tonight, Daniel."

This is clearly the wrong thing to say.

"You haven't felt up to it in weeks Regina!" He says, his face quickly contorting into something she doesn't recognize, "Are you getting it somewhere else?"

"You know I'm not!" She defends.

"Do I?" He asks, stepping forwards menacingly. Regina takes a step back. This continues until she hits the opposite side of the hallway next to the sideboard.

"I would never be unfaithful!"

"Then what? Am I not enough for you anymore?"

"No, Daniel-" Regina falters as he closes the space between them, one hand on her hip, pressing her back into the wall, the other caressing her cheek in a gesture that doesn't match this intimidation.

"Then what, Regina!? What?" He yells.

When she can't come up with anything to say he smiles this twisted smile Regina's never seen before, "Then let's just go upstairs." He suggests, sure that Regina won't find anything else to protest about.

"So you can rape me?" Regina spits, the words are out of her mouth before she can process them. Once they are out, she can't bring them back. They sit there in the front hall like heavy stones, weighing down the very air around them. The words soak up all the oxygen in the house, and Regina is suffocating, until she is choking.

But when she's choking, it's because Daniel's fist has been rocketed into her abdomen, smartly just below her ribs so there's no chance of breaking something, except the vase that it knocked off the sideboard when Regina falls into it.

Regina is choking because Daniel's fist was in her stomach, Regina's hands are bleeding because she fell on the cracked crystal of her shattered vase. Regina's cheeks are wet, but she is not crying, she will not cry.

Daniel stays for just a moment before grabbing his keys and storming from the house. For one second, just one second, Regina wants to tell him not to go, he's been drinking and he shouldn't be driving right now.

But she's choking, and her hands are bleeding, and her cheeks are wet so her concern comes out in one choked sob as she tries to force air back into her failing lungs.

...

The first time Mary Margaret puts her foot down is that night. David is home from a long meeting at City Hall where he swears 'Regina will run this whole town one day', and they're putting Neil down for the night.

Mary Margaret pushes just a bit of her son's hair off his forehead, and smiles at the baby, "Goodnight, darling." She whispers, leaving the room, and making sure that the baby monitor is on.

She settles down on the couch next to David, leaning into his hold, "He's finally down." Mary Margaret sighs.

"You're amazing." David smiles, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, "Did you want to watch that movie you were telling me about?"

"Sure." The brunette agrees, "Or we could not…" Mary Margaret trails off getting a sneaky smile.

"Oh really?" David asks with a smirk.

Just before their lips can touch, a loud yelling catches their attention. Mary Margaret pulls back with concern written clearly on her face, "Did that come from Daniel and Regina's house?"

David groans, "I'm not sure, sweetie."

They sit in silence for a little bit longer, until a particularly loud shout is followed by silence and then crying from upstairs. Mary Margaret stands to take care of her son, "Something isn't right David, you could at least stop over and see if everything is ok."

David follows his wife upstairs, peeking out the window which overlooks their neighbors, "You know Regina wouldn't say anything even there was something going on."

"You're the sheriff, David. You have to do something."

David watches Daniel storm down the driveway sloppily and slide into his car, "I think Daniel is drunk, I'll go get him." He finally decides.

"And what about Regina?"

David hesitates for a moment, "I've got it."


	7. Chapter 7

...

"You save yourself or you remain unsaved."  
― Alice Sebold

...

The first time that Regina cleans up after him is that night.

When she finally stops choking, and her bleeding hands have gone numb instead of stinging, when her cheeks are drying, she stands gingerly, careful not to get anymore glass shards in herself, and makes her way to the kitchen.

She runs cold water over her hands for as long as she can stand it. She is focusing on the acute burn in her palms when she hears a knock on the door, for a second she is terrified that it's Daniel come back, but she realizes that he wouldn't knock.

Regina holds her breath under the hope that whoever is at the door will just go away, but they don't, and she hears the knock increase to a loud pounding.

"Mrs. Mills? It's Emma, I got a call about a domestic disturbance, I just need to check that everything is alright."

Regina's stomach drops at the mention of the blonde, and she tries to convince herself that it's only because she doesn't know if she can physically open the door. "Just a moment!" She yells. She makes her way out of the kitchen, trying not to wince at the sound of glass from the vase crunching under her heels. Regina takes a deep breath at the front door, reaching out with her left and less injured hand, Regina takes hold of the handle, feeling the shards of glass dig in deeper before she pulls it open.

Immediately her politician smile is on, "What can I help you with Ms. Swan?"

"I was on duty and I got a call of a disturbance at your house so I came to check it out." Emma says, she's holding the back of her neck and looks so painfully uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry that you had to come all the way out here. Nothing's happened, perhaps it was the house over." Regina covers easily, holding her hands behind her back and trying not to wince when the air conditioner blows across the open cuts.

Emma's eyes scan over Regina's frame as if verifying for herself that this is true, "So if there's nothing else." Regina says, already trying to usher Emma away.

"You have blood on your shirt." The blonde interrupts.

"I dropped a vase." Regina shoots back.

"Did the vase burst a blood vessel?"

Regina looks down to see a decently sized streak of red on the side of her shirt, "I cut myself when I was picking up the pieces."

Emma's eyes narrowed, seeing right through the lie, "Do you need any help cleaning it up? I know how difficult cleaning glass can be."

Regina hesitates, wanting to send Emma away so she can finally release everything she's been holding in, but all the same she knows that she can't stand the burning in her palms much longer, and she doesn't know how she's going to remove the glass by herself.

Emma senses her moment of uncertainty and capitalizes on it, stepping forwards, "Please, Regina?"

"Alright."

 


	8. Chapter 8

...

"I just want to sleep. A coma would be nice. Or amnesia. Anything, just to get rid of this, these thoughts, whispers in my mind."  
― Laurie Halse Anderson,  _Speak_

_..._

The first time Regina lets someone take care of her is that night. She's not choking anymore, her hands are on fire, and her cheeks are still dry- for now.

Emma doesn't say anything when she enters the mansion and sees the destruction in the foyer. Regina hovers by the door, unsure what to do with herself until Emma is looking at her with concern clearly written across her features, "Can I see your hand?"

Regina is reluctant when she draws them from behind her back and presents them to Emma. She is thirty years old, but in this moment she feels like she is five confessing to her mother.

She doesn't look up to see Emma's reaction, but she can hear the blonde's sharp intake of breath when she sees the extent of the damage.

"There's a lot of glass in here, Regina. We should go to the hospital." Emma suggests lightly.

"No." Regina's steadfast resistance is clear, "I'm not going to the hospital."

Emma huffs a breath at the brunette's stubborn ways, "Fine, will you let me try and clean you up?"

Regina allows her an uncertain nod, she knows she won't be able to deal with this on her own.

"Come on." Emma says, taking charge of the situation. She leads Regina back to the kitchen and instructs her to sit down at the table, "Tweezers and a first aid kit?"

"Bathroom." Regina nods down the hall.

Emma returns quickly with the supplies, laying out a towel on the table that Regina rests her hands on, "I'm going to try and pull out as much of the glass as I can, just tell me if it hurts too much and we can take a break."

"Alright."

Emma picks up the tweezers (she's already sterilized them with some rubbing alcohol) and hesitates a moment. She pulls out her cell phone and snaps a quick photo of the damage to Regina's palms.

She can feel the brunette's narrowed gaze on her when she picks up the tweezers again, "I know you don't want me to do anything right now," she begins the process of picking out what she can, "so I won't. If you ever do change your mind though, you're going to want those photos."

Regina doesn't say anything. She just grits her teeth against the pain. However much it had hurt when she originally was cut by the glass, this hurts so much more as the adrenaline of earlier in the evening has worn off.

Emma is as gentle as she possibly can be, caressing the uninjured parts of Regina's hands as she goes about her work. When she's pulled out as much as she can, she sits back, releasing a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

"All done." She smiles the slightest bit.

Regina breathes out a shaky breath, she's choking (for an entirely different reason this time), her palms are on their way to going numb again, and her cheeks are wet.

"We just have to sterilize it, and then wrap it up."

Regina nods her consent to this next step of the process. Emma pours rubbing alcohol on a gauze pad and presses it carefully to one of the brunette's palms, Regina pulls it back with a pained hiss.

"I'm sorry." Emma immediately apologizes.

"No, it's alright." Regina breathes, giving her hand back.

She bites down on her bottom lip when Emma goes back in with the gauze. By the time Emma's cleaned both hands and wrapped them both up securely, Regina's nearly bitten through her lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Done, I promise." Emma finally says, watching the way Regina draws her hands back to hold gingerly against her chest.

Emma doesn't wait for permission when she then moves to put water on to boil for tea, and grabs a blanket from the front room. She drapes the blanket across Regina's shoulders and leaves the brunette to sit and gather herself for a moment while she cleans up the glass in the front hall.

She throws away the flowers that were once in the vase, and tries to pretend that seeing the red stained pieces of glass on the wood floor doesn't make her sick to her stomach.

 


	9. Chapter 9

...

"The only person that deserves a special place in your life is someone that never made you feel like you were an option in theirs."  
― Shannon L. Alder

...

The first time Emma throws up in nearly three years is that evening.

Before she had gone to college, Emma hadn't thrown up since she was a young girl and she got a bad stomach bug. Then cheap beers, and bad decisions at college parties reintroduced the phenomena of emptying her stomach into her life. Since she smartened up and stopped drinking like a frat boy, Emma didn't throw up until morning sickness became a regular part of her life.

But ever since her son was born, Emma hadn't thrown up.

That night is different.

After she finishes picking up the mess in the front hall, Emma returns to the kitchen to make the both of them some tea. Thankfully, Regina seems to be more herself. She is sitting up straighter, her hair is pushed back off her face, and she seems to have some sort of steely resolve settling behind her features.

Emma sets the steaming mug before the brunette, sitting across from her at the table.

"How are you feeling?"

Regina laughs shortly, a dry humorless laugh that makes Emma's hair stand on end, "How am I supposed to be feeling?"

"I don't know." Emma admits, sipping her tea. They sit in the silence for a little bit until something else catches Emma's attention, "Regina, did you maybe cut your leg too?"

The woman looks down to where a single line of blood is sliding down the outside of her thigh. When she had fallen, she did land on her left side and it would make sense for there to have been some embedded glass there too, but it would have had to punch through her skirt too.

"Perhaps." Regina allows, her voice is detached and it makes Emma sick the clinical way she is appraising her own body, trying to decide if this injury is worth examining.

"It's nothing." Regina finally decides, using the towel on the table to wipe the trickle of blood from her calf up to the bottom of her skirt.

Emma wants to protest, but she doesn't have words for this.

"You're quite good at first aide." Regina finally says, this is the closest to thank you she can manage right now.

Emma smiles, "My son is quite the adventurous kid, I got really good at fixing him up."

"You have a son?"

"Yeah, Henry. He's three, you would like him."

Emma smiles at how Regina seems to visibly soften at the edges listening to Emma talk about Henry.

They aren't exactly friends, but Emma desperately wants to tell Regina to leave, she wants to take the brunette home with her, hold her in her arms and make sure that nobody ever hurts her again. Sure Regina's never admitted to the abuse she's got to be suffering, but it's too obvious.

Emma finishes her tea, and wants to stall her exit, but she knows Regina needs time.

She sends one lingering glance at where a particularly bad cut in Regina's left palm is already starting to bleed through the gauze. Both of them know that Regina really should go to the hospital, they both know that's not going to happen.

Finally, Emma stands, "If you need anything in the future-" She begins, trying to figure out how to explain what she wants to tell Regina, "If you drop any more vases or anything, or you just need someone- I just, you have my number." She finally finishes lamely.

"I do." Regina smiles at her blonde saviour, walking her to the door.

"Are you sure you want to stay here tonight?" Emma asks, she knows she's pushing it maybe just a bit with this question, but the thought of Regina here all alone a sitting duck for Daniel coming home makes her skin crawl.

"I'm sure, thank you Ms. Swan."

"Emma, please call me Emma."

Regina smiles, "Alright, thank you Emma."

Emma can't help herself, she pitches forward and embraces Regina in a quick hug, "Be safe." She commands before making her way down the path.

She watches the door to the mansion shut behind her, and when she makes it down to the sidewalk, she promptly turns and empties her stomach into the nearest bush.

When she's gotten a hold of herself again, and rinsed her mouth with water from her car, she whips out her cell phone and dials David.

He answers on the first ring, "Sheriff here."

"Where's Daniel?"

"Locked up at the station."

"I'm coming down there."

She hangs up before he has the chance to reply.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Because I wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of Emma.

...

"... you don't have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future."  
― Jane Green,  _Bookends_

_..._

The first time Emma isn't in control of herself is when she sees Daniel at the station. Emma's drive to the sheriff's station is surprisingly calm, she doesn't speed, she doesn't press down the accelerator to make a yellow light in the middle of town, she parks carefully next to David's car, and takes a deep breath before locking her bug and walking in.

David comes out to meet her in the hallway before she even lays eyes on the man. David's expression is concerned, it's clear he's half asleep on his feet (which is fair enough considering it's nearly midnight), and he's ready to stop Emma from doing something she'd regret.

"Where is he?" Emma asks, she has no idea what she's going to do once she gets her hands on Daniel, but she knows she has to do something.

"He's in the drunk tank, Emma just wait a minute."

"I don't need to wait for anything, David."

"Yes, you do." He says, meeting her gaze. They both know he's not asking as her friend, he's telling as her boss, "He wouldn't tell me anything when I picked him up, did he and Regina have a fight or something?"

Emma ran a hand through her curls, "Yeah, or something." She so wants to tell David what's going on, but she knows it's not her truth to reveal.

"Emma, what's going on?" He asks, searching her conflicted expression, "He didn't-" David cuts himself off, not wanting to finish what he's afraid has happened.

"No, it's-" Emma tries to defend, but she can't, "Regina just dropped a vase and cut her hands on the glass."

David raises an eyebrow at her, "Emma-"

"I know, I know. But I'm not doing this, it's Regina's thing. I'm not violating her privacy anymore than that jackass already has violated her."

The sheriff nods shortly, "Can I trust you to stay here with Daniel overnight, or should I call someone else in?"

"No, I can manage. You need to get back to Mary Margaret."

The older man looks at the determination in Emma's eyes and fears for anyone who crosses her, "You need to get back to Henry."

"Ruby's looking after him."  
David only hesitates for another moment before nodding his consent, "If anything happens to that man, so help me Swan." He gives her as his final warning.

"Don't worry."

She waits until David has left the station before she goes back to where the holding cells are. Daniel is sitting on a bunk in one of the cells, his head in his hands. He looks utterly defeated. In another world, a world where he's just a man who was driving under the influence, where Emma was just the deputy sheriff on call, where Regina didn't exist, and where the brunette's palms weren't cut by shattered glass, she might have felt sorry for him.

He looks up when he hears her footsteps approach the cell. She rests against a desk, needing to ground herself, force herself to keep her distance.

"Who are you?" He asks with surprising clarity. His eyes are clear, and he's less drunk than he had been, having the time sitting in holding to sober up.

"I'm deputy sheriff Swan." She says, searching his face for any sign of remorse.

"Oh yeah, Gina's mentioned you." He nods diplomatically, the perfect wolf in sheep's clothing. Emma ignores the small excitement she gets at hearing that Regina's talked about her. "When are you going to release me?"

"Later." Emma replies dismissively.

She watches him run the knuckles of his right hand in a nervous gesture. It's the only indication he gives that something is off.

"Come on, Regina's at home, we had an argument and I need to go apologize to her." He tries, standing and approaching the bars of the cell. He lets his forearms hang outside and leans his forehead against the metal.

Emma's gut clenches, he's so sure of himself that nobody knows his little abusive secret, Emma just has to wipe the smug smile off his face, "I think Regina is fine without you. I stopped by your house before I got here."

Daniel's eyes narrow, "What did she tell you?"

"She told me she dropped a case and cut her hands on the glass."

Daniel nods, "That sounds right."

Seeing the little uptick at the corner of his mouth sets Emma off. She has to let him know he won't get away with this again.

In seconds she is off the desk, up at the bars of the cell. She grabs one of his hands where it's loosely hanging outside and twists, forcing his entire body around until his back slams into the bars.

"You listen to me jackass, if Regina drops another vase, or trips down the stairs, or runs into a countertop, or whatever other bullshit she covers for you with, I'm coming for you. And I'm not holding back." She warns, her voice low and deadly right next to his ear, "Understand?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." He grits out through the pain of the position.

Emma pulls his arms tighter, forcing his shoulder blade into a position just centimeters from popping out of the socket, "Do you understand me now?"

When he nods his head finally, and Emma lets him go, watching him slide down to the ground, holding his shoulder in pain, she doesn't recognize herself. She walks quickly out of the station, pacing up and down the sidewalk in front under the streetlamp.

It's past midnight, and she can see the stars. She wishes for a happy ending.


	11. Chapter 11

...

"Justice could be as blind as love."  
― Toba Beta,  _My Ancestor Was an Ancient Astronaut_

_..._

The first time Regina seeks comfort is the next morning.

She drags herself out of bed when the sun still hasn't risen, pulls on a pair of running pants and t-shirt as best as she can without jostling her hands too much. Her bandages have blushed pink in the middle of the night.

Daniel still isn't home by the time she pulls on her trainers and begins running. She makes it to the corner overlooking the toll bridge where she first ran into Emma, and she waits. She leans against a tree, and revels in the burn of the cold air rushing in and out of her lungs.

When she had retired to bed after Emma left, Regina checked out her leg. It was (thankfully) just a couple more cuts from glass, one particularly bad one ran approximately three inches in a jagged line down the outside of her left thigh. She was able to clean and bandage those on her own, and now she presses her hand to her left side gingerly, glad to see at least for now it comes away from her running pants not streaked with red.

Regina is drawn from her contemplation of her body by a wheezing. It's Emma sprinting towards her from the opposite direction.

Regina can't help the greeting that tumbles past her lips upon seeing Emma, "You look like shit."

The blonde smiles, she knows how true this statement must be considering she's not slept all night, she hardly had enough time to get home, grab a banana that functioned as both her dinner for the night before and breakfast, check that Henry was still tucked in securely (Ruby was passed out on the couch) and change clothes, running back out the door in hopes of catching Regina at this very spot. She smiles because she knows that between the two of them, she should not be looking the worst right now.

"Thanks, you're looking pretty swell yourself."  
Regina feels herself giving into the urge to smile like she always does with Emma.

They kind of stand in silence for a while until Emma nods her head towards the path that she came from, "Want to run?"

Regina follows her lead.

They don't say anything as they run. Not until Regina pulls her sleeves down over her hands to protect against the cold and she lets out an involuntary wince of pain at the movement against her palms.

Emma bites her tongue for a second, trying to silence herself, but she can't help it, "Why don't you leave him?"

Regina rolls the question around her mind for a minute before answering. It's the same thing she's been asking herself since the first time he laid a hand on her, and she still isn't quite sure she knows how to explain this.

"Do you believe that there's multiple sides to every person?"

"Yeah, but-" Emma begins, trying to reason Regina out of this.

"Just listen for a minute." Regina smiles teasingly, "There's this side of Daniel, this wonderfully kind, loving, side. The side that made me mix tapes in college, and burned toast when he tried to surprise me by making breakfast. The side I fell in love with, and sometimes that side shows and I just-" She falters.

Emma gets the sense that Regina Mills is not a woman who often falters in her words.

"I'm still in love with him."

 


	12. Chapter 12

...

"If you need help bark like a dog." - Gendry.

"That's stupid. If I need help I'll shout help." - Arya"  
― George R.R. Martin,  _A Clash of Kings_

_..._

The first time Regina reaches out is a complete failure.

It's the day after 'the incident' (this is what Regina comes to call it, even years after she cannot bring herself to name it anything else), and Daniel still hasn't come home. David calls her around noon to let her know that Daniel is at the sheriff's station because he was caught driving drunk. He tells her that they'll be releasing him soon, and that he's gotten some points on his license and a fine.

Regina waits, and waits, but by seven that evening he's still not home.

She screws up the remainder of her courage and dials her sister. Zelena picks up on the second ring with her typical, "Yes?"

Regina smiles, "Hey Zelena, are you busy?"

"Always, but never too busy for my favorite baby sister." Regina hears the telltale sound of string instruments in the background and knows she must have caught Zelena at rehearsal (she's a professional concert cellist, currently she's working with the Boston Symphony Orchestra).

"I'm your only baby sister, your only sister actually." Regina hears the sound of strings fade as Zelena must be moving away from the chaos.

"Semantics." The older Mills dismisses, "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something." She pauses a moment, gathering her strength, "It's about Daniel and I."

Suddenly there is a squeal from the other end of the phone which results in Regina nearly dropping her cell, grabbing it at the last minute harshly, and jostling her bandaged palms when she manages to settle it back against her ear and she catches the second half of her sister's excited cry.

"Oh my god you're totally pregnant!" Zelena hardly pauses for breath, "That so fantastic Regina! You two are going to be the best parents, and that baby is going to be absolutely adorable, I'll spoil it rotten."

"No, Zelena-" Regina tries to interrupt, but Zelena isn't listening.

"And Daniel has such good bone structure you know that kid will have an amazing jaw line between the two of your genes."

"Ze, just listen-"

"But Daniel will be useless in disciplining the kid, he's such a sweetie, you'll have to lay down the law with the both of them." Eventually, she draws to the end of her rant with, "You better not have told mother before me, Regina."

"I'm not pregnant, Zelena." She finally manages to reply.

"Oh."

The sisters bask in this awkward silence for a second until Zelena breaks it, "Well it will happen soon enough, don't worry about it."

It's already happened twice for Zelena and Robin, and Regina couldn't be any more in love with her perfect niece and nephew.

"Yeah, I'm sure if will."

"So if that's not it, what did you want to talk about?"

Regina sighs, she's lost her nerve. Of course Zelena thinks Daniel is perfect, if she goes through with separating from him, she will be the bad guy, "Nothing, it was silly."

"Regina," the redhead says her name with all the love and security that an older sister can muster, "you can tell me anything."

"It's just- do you have any good anniversary gift ideas? I'm at a loss with this." She lies.

"Of course."

Regina listens as Zelena recalls each anniversary gift she's given Robin in their many years of marriage, and runs a hand through her hair. When Zelena finishes, she hangs up and moves on.

 


	13. Chapter 13

...

"You are never strong enough that you don't need help."  
― César Chávez

...

The first time Regina calls for help is the following day. It's been two days since the incident and her palms aren't healing as well as she would like.

She is preparing dinner with as little movement as possible when Daniel comes home. He pauses in the doorway of the kitchen with a bouquet of flowers, still wearing the same shirt and slacks he had been the day he punched her. It's the first time she's seen him since he stormed out leaving her in a puddle of glass.

She doesn't speak first, or acknowledge his existence aside from briefly locking eyes with him before going back to chopping vegetables.

"Regina, I'm sorry about what happened."

Regina listens to his careful words, the way he says he's apologetic about 'what happened' not 'what he' did. Of course he's not taking owernership of this.

She doesn't reply and he lays the flowers down carefully.

"I want to make this right, Regina. Tell me what I need to do."

Her immediate response is a contrite short chuckle, "Go back in time." She looks up at him through her eyelashes, gauging his response as he clutches the edge of the counter opposite of her until his knuckles turn white.

"I'm trying here." He grits out.

Regina slams her knife down on the counter, palm flat across the handle safely so she doesn't nick herself with it, but winces slightly when she feels the large cut in her left palm reopen, "So am I."

His eyes fly between the knife and his wife's hard glare, "What? You're going to stab me?" He laughs.

She rolls her eyes, "You know I wouldn't."

"Exactly." His eyes gleam as he pulls himself up to his full height, "I know you wouldn't do it, you'll never do it." He begins to round the kitchen island until he's standing toe to toe with her.

Regina lets her hand fall to her side, but tries to stare him down.

"All you would do is run and tell your little sheriff friend." Regina feels the color drain from her face, and Daniel's smile just widens, "That's right, I know you told her."

"Daniel, I-"

"Save it." He dismisses, "If I were you, I would think twice about who I told what, Regina."

It's not exactly a threat, but it's close enough and Regina folds. She turns on her heel and storms from the kitchen with the regal ferocity of a tropical hurricane. She doesn't stop until she's made it six blocks and she realizes that she has nothing on her. She's still wearing her skirt suit and heels from work, and she has absolutely no idea where she's going.

She stops and checks the street sign, sighing in some odd relief as she recognizes it. It's not a place that Regina's ever been to, but she knows the name of this road, it's where Emma lives.

The apartment building is easily findable, and Regina is entering and making her way up two flights of stairs before she really knows what she's doing. She raises a hand to knock, then lets it fall to her side. She paces up and down the hallway, trying to talk herself into leaving, or knocking, or anything other than just walking up and down crazily.

Finally she does knock.

"Hang on!" Emma's voice yells from somewhere within the apartment.

Regina considers bolting. She doesn't.

The door is opened to reveal a smiling Emma. She's barefoot in a pair of small shorts and an oversized sweater, her hair thrown up in a messy bun.

"Regina, what's wrong?" Emma's eyes immediately cloud over in concern.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come." Regina mumbles, already backing down the hallway where she had come from, "I should just-"

She is stopped by a hand on her arm.

"Stay." Emma's question is soft and warm, the hand she's using to hold Regina doesn't feel hard and oppressive like Daniel's always does.

Regina still doesn't show any sign of relenting until Emma quirks an uneven smile at her, "Please? I'm making spaghetti."

 


	14. Chapter 14

...

"Sometimes we must yield control to others and accept our vulnerability so we can be healed."  
― Kathy Magliato,  _Healing Hearts: A Memoir of a Female Heart Surgeon_

_..._

The first time that Regina colors in twenty some years is that evening sitting across the kitchen table from Henry Swan. Emma had ushered her inside the second that Regina felt herself nodding and her facade cracking.

"I can't just impose on you like this." Regina had tried to insist.

"It's no imposition, I promise. And you can pay me back in childcare, can you watch Henry for me while I finish up dinner?"

And so it happened. The introductions were as simple as, 'Hey Henry, this is Regina.'

Hi, do you like din'sars Gina?'

Thus Regina found herself seated at the small table across from Henry who was scribbling in a coloring book. The table itself seemed to reflect the general feel of the apartment, it was small, well loved wood showing the nicks of years of use.

Henry is situated on a chair with arms that seem to be doing a good job of preventing him from falling over, and a few pillows stacked up so he can reach the table. He was chattering idly telling a story about a dinosaur (named Steve) and how he wanted ice cream but his mother said he couldn't have any until he finished his vegetables (pronounced as veg-tals in his three year old lisp). Regina thought the story sounded suspiciously like something that had actually happened, but she smiled and nodded along.

She didn't notice Emma finishing dinner. She didn't see when the blonde came to lean against the doorframe of the kitchen, arms crossed over her chest and a wide smile on her face while she watched Regina color with her son.

Regina is only alerted to the blonde's attention when Henry suddenly perks up, "Dinner?" He asks excitedly.

"Yeah, kid."

Henry clambers uncoordinatedly off his chair and races into the kitchen where Regina watches Emma ask him how hungry he is (very). Emma rolls her eyes, the kid is always very hungry, but she spoons him a fair serving of pasta and asparagus before walking it out to the table for him.

The three of them eat dinner in relative peace, Henry filling in the air with anecdotes of his day, and taking delight in Regina's impressive knowledge of dinosaurs (she interned for a summer at the Museum of Natural History before she knew what she wanted to do with her life).

When they finish and Emma bans Regina from trying to help with the dishes, when Emma helps Henry brush his teeth and get ready for bed, when Emma drops onto the couch beside Regina (it's worn and comfortable), an awkward kind of silence settles over the two women.

Emma sits in it for all of two seconds before laughing, "Are you more of a wine or beer woman?" Regina cocks her eyebrow for half a second before Emma nods her head, "Wine, why am I even asking?"

Regina follows Emma to the kitchen where she pushes through a tall cabinet to reveal a wanting alcohol assortment, "Red alright?"

"Of course."

Emma smiles and pours two glasses.

They stand in the kitchen leaning against opposite counters. For some reason it feels safer here. By now the bandage on Regina's left palm is dark red, it hasn't stopped bleeding since she reopened it during her fight with Daniel.

Emma doesn't push her to talk, they just stand and sip until Regina feels ready.

"I had a fight with Daniel."

"He didn't-"

"No." Regina shakes her head, "It was just a verbal altercation, but I couldn't stay there after that." She sips from her glass, aware that her hand is shaking slightly, "I don't really know why I came here, I just walked and I ended up on your street and-"

She shrugs, letting herself trail off, staring at the tiled floor.

Emma places her glass down on the counter and takes careful steps towards Regina, aware that she could bolt at any moment. The woman had been so calm during dinner, but now that she's confronting the reason she ran, she's falling apart. Emma only stops when she's inches from the brunette, "You can always come here." She promises.

Emma pulls the glass from Regina's hand and places it down safely. She knows Regina isn't much of a hugger (Regina had told her so on one of their morning runs), but she pulls Regina into her anyway, "You'll always be safe here." She whispers into the shorter woman's hair.

This promise is what makes her let go.

Regina cries.

She empties everything she's feeling right out of her eyes and onto Emma's shoulder. Throughout it all, Emma never once lets go of her, she just carefully strokes Regina's hair and murmurs reassurances in her ear. At some point, standing becomes too much for the women, and they find themselves sitting on the floor, leaning back against the stove, Regina curled half in Emma's lap.

They stay like this until Regina has no more tears, and until Emma's legs have gone numb.

 


	15. Chapter 15

The first time Regina goes to the hospital in Storybrooke is the following morning. At some point after their legs had gone numb, after they got used to the hard press of the tile, after Regina had weaseled her way mostly sitting in Emma's lap, they fell asleep.

Emma is the first to awake the next morning, her nose tickled by the short brown of Regina.

The brunette is completely curled in her lap, her head nestled underneath Emma's own, her mouth was at Emma's neck, exhaling warm breath that raised goosebumps. One of Regina's hands is fisted in the front of Emma's shirt, just over her chest, holding on tight.

For a little while, Emma just sits there and enjoys watching the moment of peace on Regina's face. Sure she has only known the woman for a few months, but she has the distinct feeling that Regina does not often have moments of peace like this. The moment passes as Emma's legs scream for relief after spending the night in such a cramped position.

She nudges Regina just enough to wake the smaller woman. Regina wakes first slowly, then with a start when she realizes her surroundings. She pushes herself out of Emma's lap, blushing furiously.

Emma chuckles at her mussed up hair, and tries to make light of the situation, standing and stretching slowly.

"So how does pancakes sound?"

Regina contemplates her options, they aren't exactly numerous, before smiling, "Wonderful."

Emma offers her hand to pull Regina to her feet, and this time it doesn't feel like an admission of weakness, because this isn't the same hand that had knocked her off her feet.

They stand awkwardly for a moment looking at eachother with sheepish smiles until Emma moves to action. She turns to begin preparing the batter, and Regina gasps.

"Emma, you're bleeding."

The blonde looks down, and sure enough there is a splotch of red on her light shirt. With furrowed brows she lifts her shirt to reveal nothing but perfectly smooth, pale skin.

Emma frowns, "I'm not bleeding." She looks at the shorter woman and slowly reaches for her hand. The white bandage on her left one is completely stained dark red, "Regina."

"It's nothing." She immediately answers.

"This isn't good, it could get infected."

"It's just a little cut from the glass. It will be fine."

Emma's tone is firm, but never harsh, "If it was a little cut it wouldn't be bleeding days later, Regina."

Tears prickle the corners of the brunette's eyes, "Emma."

"You need to go to the hospital Regina. Please let me take you."

"Is Gina hurt?" A small voice asks from the entryway of the kitchen. Both women whip around to see Henry standing with sleep crusted in the corners of his eyes. His hair is sticking up in the back, and his pajamas are totally rumpled.

Regina flounders for words as tears escape the corners of her eyes.

"Just a little bit, Hen. But she's really strong."

He takes in the tears on the brunette's face and makes his way over to hug her leg, "When I got hurt, Mom made me go to the hop'ital an I got better."

Regina pats his back with her right hand, and tries to control her emotions. Twenty minutes later finds Emma standing next to Regina in an exam room while Ruby watches Henry at the diner.

A doctor comes into the room with a gentle smile on her face, "Regina Mills?"

"Yes." The brunette nods, her tears have dried and her hard face is back on.

"I'm Doctor Robbins, so you've got a bit of a cut on your palm?"

Regina nods, Emma shifts nervously, "I'll just-" She sort of jerks her head towards the doorway and takes a few backwards steps, trying not to invade any more into Regina's privacy.

"Stay." Regina says quickly, "Please?"

Emma smiles and retakes her place next to Regina.

Doctor Robbins just watches the interaction with a knowing grin, "So, your hand?" She asks again when Regina seems comfortable again.

"Yes, I cut it a few days ago on a broken vase."

"May I see it?"

Regina holds out her left hand, her lip caught between her teeth. Doctor Robbins slips on a pair of gloves and carefully unwraps the bloodied gauze.

"May I see the other one as well?" She's only asking because the other hand is clearly bandaged too.

Regina relinquishes the hand, staring intently at her lap.

"Ok, I'm going to get a suture kit. I'll be right back." Doctor Robbins says, her bright smile back in place as she tries to put her patient at ease.

Emma stands beside Regina the entire time she's getting stitched up. The doctor clucks her tongue when she finds a few shards that Emma had missed when she tried to clean Regina up originally.

When she finishes and is removing her gloves, Doctor Robbins asks the question Regina had been waiting for, "So what exactly happened, Regina?"

"I wasn't being careful, I bumped into a table, knocked a vase off, fell, and stupidly tried to catch myself with my hands."

"That's all?"

"That's all."

Doctor Robbins sighs resignedly, she know there was nothing more she can do if Regina isn't going to say anything.

"Do you have anymore injuries?"

"No-"

"Your leg." Emma interjects, she feels Regina's glare on her, but even so she plows on, "You cut your leg too."

 


	16. Chapter 16

...

"I'm asking you not to do it. Can you do that for me? Can you do not doing it? "

― Jarod Kintz, Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

...

The first time Emma sees Regina in her panties is nowhere near the circumstances that Emma had hoped it would be under. Doctor Robbins had stepped out of the room for a moment so Regina could change into a gown.

Emma had moved to follow the other blonde when Regina's pleading eyes stopped her. She brought Regina into this, she would stay with her through it all. Emma turned her back politely until Regina had the gown on.

"Will you help me with the ties?"

Emma turns, confronted with the smooth perfection of Regina's back, and for a moment she can pretend that things are different. That they aren't in a hospital, that Regina isn't being stitched up, that she doesn't have a husband that likes to use her as a punching bag, and that everything will be alright.

"Yeah." She breathes and takes the fabric ties in shaky hands. She does her very best not to touch the brunette's skin, convinced it might set her on fire.

When she finishes, Regina thanks her and sits back on the exam table. Her eyes are trained on the ground, and Emma can't stand this any longer. This isn't Regina, this is some sort of kicked puppy robot which has taken her place.

She stands right in front of the woman, and gently lays her hands on Regina's knees.

"Hey, you know that none of this is your fault, right?"

Regina nods, but doesn't actually bring her eyes up from the ground.

Emma takes the brunette's chin in hand, "Regina, you are so incredibly strong."

The brunette merely laughs dryly in response, but she manages to meet Emma's uneven smile with a weak one of her own. Their moment ends with a knock on the door, "All good in there?"

"Yeah." Regina calls.

Doctor Robbins comes back in with a fresh suture kit, "Let's see that leg of yours." She says.

Regina tries to figure how this woman can possibly be so cheery under the circumstances, but she supposes that everyone copes in their own way.

"It's on my thigh." Regina trails off.

"May I?" Doctor Robbins asks, gesturing at the hem of the gown.

Regina nods.

The blonde doctor edges the patterned material up Regina's leg until she encounters the edge of the cut. Regina lays back to allow Doctor Robbins the mobility to uncover the rest of the laceration.

She's a professional, and Regina knows that the woman must have seen worse in her years of working in an ER, yet when Doctor Robbins fully exposes Regina up to her hips, she gasps.

Regina reaches for Emma's hand, and even though hers is covered in stitches and bandages, she squeezes lightly. Emma's hand never leaves Regina's but her eyes never leave the brunette's legs.

"Regina-" Doctor Robbins begins.

"I fell." The brunette insists, "I fell on the glass. That's it."

The doctor looks to Emma for help, but she doesn't have words for this. She is rendered speechless by the bruises on Regina's thighs. They're clearly outlined fingertip bruises, and Emma's only comfort is that they're the ugly green-yellow color of healing. Not the dark-blue black of fresh wounds.

Doctor Robbins doesn't push- for now- as she cleans and sutures the cut running up the outside of Regina's thigh. Regina's leg jumps involuntarily at the first touch of the cold antiseptic against the cut.

"What happened to Henry?" Regina asks.

"What do you mean?"

"This morning, Henry said when he was hurt you took him to the hospital and he got better."

Emma nods in recognition, dragging her gaze away from the bruises back up to Regina's face. She sees the flash of fear in the brunette's eyes, and tries to do her best to distract her, "A few months ago I took him down to the park with Mary Margaret, she was so pregnant and had conned me into giving her a shoulder massage. I took my eyes off him for one second, and next thing I know he's jumping off the top of the play structure because some older boy named Peter has dared him to."

Emma laughs and shakes her head, "Henry broke his arm. It wasn't too serious, but he got a cast. He was still such a little guy that the weight of it totally threw him off."

Regina smiles, and maybe this is enough.

 


	17. Chapter 17

...

"Everyone needs help. That's the human condition."

― Max Allan Collins, Jump Cut

...

The first time Regina puts her foot down is when her stitches come out.

Emma had driven her to to the hospital and back. When they pulled up in front of the mansion, Emma was around the car opening the door before Regina even reached for the handle. She had smiled, feeling a weight lifting off her chest, somehow she can find solace in this woman. When the rest of her world is falling apart, Emma is here smiling and laughing, opening doors for her and making her pasta like everything isn't changing forever.

They walk up the path to Regina's front door, brushing elbows. Mary Margaret and David are both in their front yard playing with Neil. The small boy is crawling around a blanket under his mother's watchful eye.

For just a moment, Regina watches them. It's comforting in a heart achingly peaceful way. Emma waves at David who nods in return. At the front door, Emma doesn't hesitate before pulling Regina into a quick hug.

"If you need anything-"

"I have your number." Regina finishes.

"Exactly." Emma nods. She looks over Regina once more, nodding in apparent satisfaction before backing down the path to her car.

Regina locks the door when she is alone once again.

She is sitting in the kitchen, running her fingers lightly over the puckered skin of the long scar across her left hand. She thinks abstractly about those days when her mother used to drag her and her sister to church every Sunday when they were young.

All the stained glass icons and crucifixes engrossed the girl when she was younger, but now she wonders if this is what a palm would look like after it's been nailed to wood.

She is drawn from her musings when Daniel comes through the front door. He drops his jacket in the front hall, his keys in the bowl on the sideboard. On impulse, Regina stands.

It's been days since Regina's said more than two words to her husband, and now she squirms to think of him with that word attached. She makes her way out to the main hall, Daniel watches as she pulls his keyring from the bowl.

She turns it over in her hands, removing the house key and placing it back down on the sideboard.

Regina lightly tosses the key ring- now one key lighter- to Daniel, "Get out."

"Excuse me?"

"I want you out of my house." Regina demands. Her voice does not waver.

"Your house?" He asks indignantly.

"My house, the deed is in my name. I want you out."

"Regina-"

"You can come back Saturday at noon to collect your things, until then, I don't want to see you around here." Her eyes are hard, and leave no room for question.

"You don't really think you can kick me out of my own home." He takes one step towards her menagincly.

"Yes, I do." She raises an eyebrow at his clenching fists, "You could try, and I'll scream. I know for a fact both David and Mary Margaret are out in the yard with Neil. Do you think you can move fast enough to keep me from alerting them?"

His face is quickly reddening as he turns on his heel and stomps down the hall to the front door, "This isn't over, Regina." He promises before slamming the door behind him.

Once Regina hears his car start and back out of the drive, she slumps against the wall, all fire behind her eyes extinguishing as she breathes shallowly. She pulls out her cellphone and dials without thinking.

"Emma. Are you busy?"

"Too busy for you? Never."

…

The first time Regina spills to her sister, she really spills. It's the day after she's kicked Daniel out, and she's sitting in bed which wouldn't be anything special except that it's one thirty in the morning and she hasn't slept all night.

She's sitting in bed, knees bent, arms wrapped around them, pulling herself into the most compact ball she can possibly mold herself into. When they were young, Zelena used to call her 'rolly-polly Regina' because when she was upset she would come into her sister's room and curl up in a ball like that.

She stays in this position until her back aches. She grabs her cell off her bedside table and dials. It's answered on the third ring.

"Yeah?" The voice is blurry from sleep.

"Sorry." Regina apologizes automatically, "I hope I didn't wake you."

The woman on the other end of the line laughs, "Regina, I've got a four year old, an eight month old, and a crazy rehearsal schedule. You're never the one that wakes me."

"How are my beautiful niece and nephew?"

"Considerably less beautiful when they're tearing up my living room." Zelena jokes, "How's life in the boondocks?"

"It's Maine, not the middle of nowhere."

"They're pretty synonymous."  
Regina rolls her eyes, but she can feel herself uncurling, "Listen, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Of course, what's up?" Zelena asks, she sounds suddenly more serious.

"I kicked Daniel out."

"Tell me everything."

So she does. Regina tells her sister everything, from the first time when she was still in college, to that one night when they all were visiting the Mill's parents, to now sitting alone in her bed afraid to sleep.

Zelena stays quiet for most of the explanation. Only making small encouraging noises when Regina falters. When she finishes, Zelena is determined, "I'm coming out there."

"No, Zelena-"

"I'm driving out, and kicking his ass, no objections Regina. That pig deserves what's coming to him."

"Zelena." Regina's tone is hard, "We're not stooping to his level. I have this under control."

"I'm not letting you go through this on your own."

"I'm not alone."

 


	18. Chapter 18

...

"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."  
― Jarod Kintz,  _It Occurred to Me_

_..._

The first time Regina kisses Emma is that Saturday. She spent most of the morning packing Daniel's things, his clothes toiletries, everything she could find she shoved into a backpack and two duffel bags. She sets them out in the front entryway and waits, pacing up and down the hallway.

It's nearly ten thirty when she finally breaks down and calls Emma. The blonde shows up at her house in minutes, and they sit together quietly. Emma idly playing with her badge, and Regina sitting rigidly, completely straight backed in her chair. Emma watches her for a solid fifteen minutes before shaking her head and standing.

"Where's your radio?"

"Excuse me?" Regina asks, her eyebrows crawling up her forehead.

"You know, small electronic device which plays music."

"I don't have one."

"How do you not have a radio?"

Regina sighs and shrugs in confusion. Emma pulls out her phone and presses a few buttons before music begins playing out of the device. She sets it on the table, and puts her hand out for Regina to take.

She does it after just a moment of hesitation.

Emma pulls Regina to her feet, "Now what?"

The blonde just quirks an uneven smile, "Now, we dance."

The song playing is a ridiculous pop song that Regina's heard on the radio sometimes when driving to work, and somehow it's exactly what Regina's always imagined that Emma listens to.  
Regina watches skeptically when Emma begins groove along to the music, she moves her hips and shoulders perfectly in synch in a dance that reminds Regina of college parties.

She shakes her head as she watches Emma until the blonde laughs too, "Come on Regina, dance with me!"

The blonde takes hold of Regina's hips and lightly tugs to force Regina to follow the rhythm. Regina caves and dances with the goofy woman, they fall into a place suspended from time, they dance and laugh, and for a little bit Regina forgets. The spin around the kitchen, Regina allowing herself to be turned around by Emma so her back is pressed flush against the blonde's front. Emma's hands never leave her hips.

At least until there's a heavy handed knock on the door.

Regina's head whips around to the entryway, and she freezes.

But Emma is there, Emma is always there, with her hand on the small of Regina's back, "Are you ready?"

Regina's only response is a nod. Together they make their way down the hall. Regina pulls the door open, and standing outside is Daniel. His hair is longer than he normally lets it get, and his clothes are a bit baggy. Regina assumes it's because he's probably borrowed them from the coworker he's been staying with.

"I've packed your things." Regina says, inclining her head at the bags beside her.

"That's it?" He asks, staring Regina down, "You put my things in a bag and send me on my way? This isn't fair Regina."

"Take the bags and go."

Daniel's expression hardens further, and Emma can easily see the man's temper boiling just under the surface. She steps forward, placing herself protectively beside Regina, one foot in front of the brunette, shielding her from Daniel.

"You called in your friend for backup." Daniel laughs, sizing Emma up. Without the bars of a cell separating them, Emma has to admit the man is more physically imposing than she had first thought. She is momentarily amazed how Regina managed to stay strong against him for so long.

She shoots a quick side glance across Regina's front yard to see David standing on his own lawn pretending to be extremely engrossed in a small tree. Emma had texted him right after she got off the phone with Regina and headed over, there was nothing wrong with a little support.

"It's time for you to go." Emma says, intentionally making her voice just a hair deeper.

"Maybe you should mind your own business."

"And maybe you should take your things, and get out of here before I have to make you."

He chuckles, "Are you supposed to be intimidating?"

"Scared yet?" Emma smiles dangerously.

The next seconds pass instantaneously as Daniel makes a move for Emma, the blonde dodges and lands a solid right hook on Daniel's nose. He stumbles backward, and Emma moves in landing a couple more solid punches on his face. He takes another swing at her which she ducks and reciprocates with a body shot followed by a kick where it's going to hurt. When the dust settles, Daniel is curled on the porch, holding between his legs while blood drips from a broken nose.

Emma doesn't know what takes over her, but suddenly, all she sees is red and all she hears is Regina's quiet tears when she held her on the floor of her kitchen after Daniel had beaten her.

She doesn't know how many times she must have hit Daniel after he was already on the ground, all she knows is that David is suddenly behind her. He grabs her elbow when she pulls back to land another punch on Daniel's cheek and he pulls her up off of where she's been kneeling with one knee stabbing into his lungs. David pushes her back slightly, a look of concern on his face.

Daniel looks up, eyes landing on David, "That bitch assaulted me, arrest her!"

"Looked like self defense to me." David replies, checking over Emma quickly for injury, aside from bleeding knuckles, she is unscathed. His gaze travels back to the entrance of the mansion where he sees Regina standing stock still, "Emma."

"On it." She crosses back into the house, taking Daniel's bags and tossing them out onto the porch. She shuts and locks the door behind her, the last thing she sees before turning to Regina is David kneeling over a bloodied and bruised Daniel. The beaten man clearly has a broken nose, and David is not taking that as any indication to go lightly on him, the sherif is holding Daniel with one hand fisted in the front of his shirt, whispering lowly what Emma knows must be a threat.

Inside, Emma approaches slowly, taking Regina's hand and leading her through the house to the kitchen. It's always felt safer for the two of them among the fruits and vegetables, where things can be measured precisely, where they can turn barefoot on the tile and just be. Emma doesn't let go of her hand, rather she uses both of hers to draw soothing circles into the back.

Regina breaks the silence, "Your knuckles are bleeding."

"Just a bit."

Silence.

"Regina?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being here."

They stand quietly, Emma wanting to comfort the brunette without pushing her to talk, and Regina trying to sort through the storm of emotions welling within her.

"Regina, I-"

The brunette cuts off whatever consolation Emma was about to offer by pitching forwards. She lets herself contour to the shape of Emma's body as she feels the blonde's strong arms wrap around her. She's not a hugger, but she holds the back of Emma's jacket like her life depends on it.

Emma's phone is still playing music, but it's not the ridiculous pop music it had been earlier. Now it's an old song, something Regina wouldn't have expected to hear from the sheriff's music collection.

Yet here they are, Emma swaying slightly to the tune of Etta James' 'At Last'. Regina turns her head, and nuzzles her face into the soft side of Emma's neck. She presses a kiss to the pale slope when she feels Emma's nails rake gently against her scalp. Almost immediately after, Emma is leaning down, kissing the top of Regina's head.

She does not let go.

 


	19. Chapter 19

...

"Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other."  
― Carol Saline

...

The first time Zelena visits Storybrooke, Maine is the following day. She does it as she does most things in her life, loudly with little forewarning.

She knocks on the door of her sister's house (mansion) while whistling lowly under her breath. She bounces her baby in her hip, shooting a look over her shoulder at Robin who is juggling a couple of bags in the trunk.

Regina pulls open the door and is momentarily stunned, "Zelena, you're here."

"I told you I was coming."

"I told you not to."

The redhead doesn't bother to wait for an invitation before she is passing her sister and settling in the living room. A small brunette runs up the path, "Auntie Gina!"

Regina has no choice really but to laugh and bend down to scoop up her niece, "Hello Alice, sweetie." Robin is last to the house with an apologetic grin already etched on his face.

"She didn't tell you we were coming, did she?" He asks, already knowing the answer.

"No, not exactly."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, that's Zelena."

She sets her sister up in a guest bedroom with Robin, her niece will sleep on the couch. Zelena claims that its just for the weekend, she just wants to visit to see how Regina is doing, but the brunette knows better.

It's nearly six in the evening when there's a knock on the door. The adults had just been beginning to talk about dinner plans before the interruption. Regina has successfully avoided any talk of Daniel, probably because she's been holding her niece in her lap for most of the conversation, but she knows Zelena must be itching to ask.

At the sound of the bell, Regina stands to get the door. Moments after she pulls it open, she is overwhelmed by an excited child. Emma is standing behind with a crooked smile and a bag slung over her shoulder.

"Emma." The brunette smiles.

"Hey." Emma holds the back of her neck awkwardly just like she did the first night she showed up on Regina's doorstep, "I thought you might like some company. And Henry wanted to show you how good he's gotten at making spaghetti." She hefts the bag on her shoulder to emphasize her point.

"Who's there, Regina?" Zelena yells from the living room.

Emma blushes instantly, "I'm sorry, I should have called-"

"No, come in. I want you to meet some people."

Emma takes Henry's hand and follows Regina's lead to the living room where the brunette makes the introductions easily enough. Henry plops himself down next to where Alice is coloring, the adults watch as they seamlessly color together in the simple amicability that is only obtainable by young children and certain dogs.

Half an hour later finds the women in the kitchen making a simple pasta dinner while Robin watches the kids. Zelena is trying to subtly grill this woman who seems to have inserted herself so easily into her sister's life.

"So Emma, you're a police officer?"

"Sort of." Emma is leaning against the counter beside where Regina is stirring the pasta, "I'm the deputy sheriff."

"And how did you two meet?"

Regina shoots her sister an entertained look, she knows exactly what her sister is doing.

"I'm good friends with her neighbors." Emma says evasively.

"Taste this." Regina interrupts, holding a spoon of sauce out to Emma, she blows on it briefly before holding it in front of the blonde's face. Rather than take the spoon, Emma allows Regina to feed it to her. Neither woman notices Zelena's eyebrows crawling up her forehead at the action.

"It's great." Emma smiles, her voice definitely a pitch deeper than it had been.

Zelena could cut the sexual tension with a butter knife, and so she does, "Your son is quite well mannered."

"Thanks." Emma replies, finally tearing her eyes away from the brunette.

"You and his father have done a great job raising him." Zelena pushes just a bit, trying to gauge what her sister is competing with here.

"It's just been me. Henry's father died in a car accident before he was born."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Emma dismisses.

The three fall into more idle chatter until Emma reaches around Regina for the collander she's asked for. Zelena catches sight of the blonde's knuckles. They're still bruised brilliantly purple from when she punched Daniel out on the front porch, and the cuts on her knuckles have scabbed over but are still brilliantly visible.

"What happened to your hands?" Zelena blurts before she can stop herself. Maybe it's a combination of her thinking about everything Regina's told her, and maybe it's just pure sisterly protection, but bruised knuckles doesn't sit well with Zelena.

"I had a physical run in yesterday." Emma says, visibly uncomfortable.

Zelena is watching her sister with a searching gaze, Regina meets her look and rolls her eyes, "For goodness sake, Zelena, stop looking at me like that. She nearly broke her hand on Daniel's face yesterday."

"What?"

Emma rubs the back of her neck uncomfortably, "I didn't break my hand."

"You broke his nose, and nearly his jaw." Emma blushes and Regina can see the embarrassment in the blonde's eyes. She turns from the stove and places her hands on Emma's shoulders, "You were amazing."

Emma's smile in response is shy, but Zelena can see so clearly the emotion behind it.

The redhead appraised Emma in a new light, finally smiling with a little nod. She knew she liked Emma for a reason. She stays the weekend with Robin and the kids, and when she leaves, she knows that her sister is in good hands.

 


	20. Chapter 20

...

"Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from."  
― Mae West

...

The first time Regina sleeps through the night is nearly two months later. Daniel has been living with a coworker ever since Regina kicked him out, and their divorce was finalized a few weeks ago.

Regina hasn't seen Daniel since the day they faced each other in a courthouse and signed the papers to make the separation final. Emma had been there, sitting next to Regina through the entire process. The divorce itself was relatively simple, and still Regina refused to press charges against the man.

It just wasn't something she could go through.

She's lived in an abusive relationship for years, she won't recall her abuse for a jury, undergo invasive interviews and exams, be grilled repeatedly on the same questions (why didn't you leave? Why didn't you tell anyone? What took so long to change your mind? But he only ever hit you a couple of times.).

She will not be called a victim or a survivor, or anything other than Regina Mills.

Thursday night dinner at Emma's apartment has become a tradition (Tuesday nights are at Regina's, and Sunday's are at the diner). It's just past nine when Regina is sitting on the worn couch in Emma's apartment.

Her wardrobe has changed somewhat since she's freed herself of Daniel. She's still very skirt suit and blazer in the office, but outside of those hours, she's adopted a more relaxed dress code. Now she is curled with her feet beneath her in a pair of yoga pants and an oversized sweater holding a half empty glass of wine.

Emma drops ungracefully beside her, takes the glass from Regina, and finishes it in one gulp.

"I assume that means Henry's down for the night?"

"Down like a rock. Refill?"

Regina nods, and Emma returns quickly with two glasses. Sometimes they talk on nights like these, after Henry has gone to sleep, once they've had enough wine (or beer, or cider, or whatever alcohol they have readily stocked) to let their guard down.

Most days, they put a movie on, and enjoy the simplicity of their time together. Tonight is Regina's turn to pick, and like most evenings, she's chosen some mindless horror flick. This one is about a haunted asylum, and Emma flinches with each jump scare the shoddy camera work incorporates, and Regina just smiles.

They make it through a bottle of red before the end of the movie, it's more than they normally drink, maybe it's the cold weather finally settling around Storybrooke (snow has just started to fall) and maybe it's the impending election season that has Regina questioning her future in the town.

When the credits do roll, Regina stands, and slings her jacket over her shoulder. The women walk to the kitchen with their glasses.

"Thank you for a wonderful dinner." Regina smiles, it's the same compliment she's given Emma at the end of the night for the past few months.

"Anytime."

Regina stumbles the smallest amount as Emma is walking her to the front door, and the blonde catches it, "Maybe you shouldn't drive home."

"Emma, I'm fine."

The blonde cocks her eyebrow with an amused smile, "Don't make me go down there and arrest you for driving under the influence."

Regina rolls her options around in her head. She knows that Emma is quite persistent, and she finally conceeds to the deputy sherif's smile, "So what do you propose Ms. Swan?"

"Sleep over?"

And with her bottom lip caught between her teeth, her best begging eyes on, Regina never stood a chance.

Emma tries to make her take the bed, and Regina refuses to let her sleep on the couch, and they're both pretty wine drunk, so twenty minutes later they're both curled under Emma's comforter while snow falls outside. Emma is dead asleep in a matter of minutes, but Regina isn't. Regina hasn't fallen asleep so much as she has passed out for short bits of rest for the past few months. So when Emma rolls over around midnight in her sleep and collides with Regina's warm body, the brunette is still painfully awake. Emma wakes up at the unexpected contact before remembering that Regina is in her bed. When she does, a lazy smile spreads across her sleepy face, "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, go back to sleep."

"M'kay." Emma agrees with a yawn. She resituates herself and lets her eyelids droop until she realizes Regina isn't doing the same.

"Gina?"

The brunette sighs briefly, "I've been having trouble sleeping lately."

Emma nods her understanding, and somewhere her tired (still a little tipsy) brain decides that cuddles are exactly what Regina needs. She slides over under the covers until she's totally pressed against Regina's side. From there, she tangles their legs together and slides one arm under the brunette to pull her closer. Regina allows it, laying her head on Emma's chest and snuggling in until she's half on top of the sherif.

"I'll protect you." Emma promises into the woman's dark hair before nodding off again.

Regina lets herself relax and mold into Emma's strong frame. For the first time in a long time, she truly feels safe.

 


	21. Chapter 21

...

"When you find real love — protect and preserve the sweetness and intimacy of your gift."  
― Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life

...

The first time that Regina doesn't look over her shoulder is about a year after that. It's been just under two years since she moved to Storybrooke with Daniel, over a year since their divorce was final, and about five months since she started officially dating Emma Swan.

The blonde had been kind to a fault, after the divorce she had wanted to badly not to pressure Regina into another relationship or take advantage of her when she was in a fragile place. But Regina was anything but fragile. She had tried to wait patiently for Emma to ask her on a date properly, but after two months of ambiguously platonic cuddling, regular dinners, and spending nearly all their free time together, Regina took things into her own hands.

Thursday night sleepovers had become a part of their schedule so regularly that Regina had a set of work clothes at Emma's for the express purpose of wearing them on Friday to the office. On one Thursday after they had finished cleaning up and they were curled beneath the covers, Emma spooning Regina from behind, Regina made her move.

She had turned in the embrace and looked deep into the blonde's eyes. Without saying anything at all, she reached out to push some hair behind Emma's ear, her hand stayed cupping the sheriff's face as she then leant in and pressed her lips against Emma's in the softest whisper of a kiss.

When she had pulled back, Emma had the dopiest serene smile on her face. From there on, their courtship had been nothing but smooth. Regina revels in the ease of it all, enjoying the honeymoon phase of their new relationship.

Daniel is practically non-existent as he stays away from his ex-wife for the most part until one Sunday Regina is walking down Main Street with Emma and Henry. The small boy is between the two women, each holding one of his hands, and every few steps he commands, 'up!' and they lift him off the ground for a step.

Daniel is walking the opposite direction briskly when he recognizes the brunette just outside of the diner.

"Is this why you left? So you could play house with some dy-"

"Regina, can you take Henry into the dinner?" Emma cuts him off. She doesn't need her son to hear whatever insult the man is about to fling at her or Regina.

"Emma, you don't have to deal with this." Regina tries to protest, the blonde has already done so much, it isn't fair that she still have to protect Regina from this man.

"Gina." Emma says softly, searching the brunette's gaze, "Take Henry for a cocoa, I'll be there in a second."

Regina finally gives in, taking the boy's hand and leading him away from the sidewalk and up the steps of the dinner. She holds the door open for the boy and shoots a glance over her shoulder long enough to see Emma with rage boiling beneath her glare, staring Daniel down. She doesn't hear all of Emma's initial warning, but she does catch the very beginning.

"If you come anywhere near my family again, I swear that broken nose I gave you will look like child's play. You insult Regina like that ever again, and you will live to regret it-"

The brunette does not get to hear the tail end of the threat as the door swings shut and Henry is tugging her towards the counter. They order cocoa and only have to wait a few more minutes until Emma joins them inside.

The first thing she says as she slides into the booth across from them is, "How do you feel about Phoenix?"

"Arizona?"

"Yeah."

Regina is completely flabbergasted, "I honestly haven't an opinion, why?"

"Because I'd recomend you don't visit."

"Emma?"

The blonde finally lets a wolfish smile overtake her features, "Daniel's company is starting a new project out there. He leaves in two days."

Suddenly the phone calls that Emma had been making a few days earlier made sense, she had been asking Regina some odd questions about Daniel's employer.

"You didn't-"

"I'm in the mood for pancakes." Emma cuts her off with a glint in her eyes, "Want to split a stack with me?"

"I want pancakes." Henry volunteered from beside Regina, completely oblivious to the argument that had occurred outside.

"Then it's settled." Emma decided, "We'll get a stack of pancakes to split, and agree never to roadtrip to Arizona."

Though Regina is slightly dumbfounded for the rest of their impromptu snack, she can't find it in herself to be even the slightest bit mad at Emma. When Monday rolls around, and Regina watches Daniel drive out of town for good, she can't help but breathe a sigh of relief. She skips her morning city council meeting, drives to the sheriff's station, finds Emma, and nearly sprints to her desk.

"Regina?" Emma barely has time to ask before she is being tugged up to her feet and her mouth is covered by the brunette's in a bruising kiss.

When Regina pulls back, the deputy sheriff is completely breathless, "Thank you, Emma."

A wolf-whistle from the far end of the room raises a bright blush on Regina's face as she realizes that LeRoy has been in a holding cell and witnessed the entire exchange.


	22. Chapter 22

…

"She had a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, like when you're swimming and you want to put your feet down on something solid, but the water's deeper than you think and there's nothing there."

Julia Gregson, East of the Sun

…

The first time Regina cannot breathe after Daniel leaves and the second time she cannot breathe happen in the same day. It isn't because a fist has been rocketed into her stomach, it isn't because she was left behind in a puddle of glass. It's because of a single word.

It's months after Daniel's left, and she's been with Emma for something like just under a year. Regina knows exactly what she wants, she's wanted it since the very first time Emma brought her home from a date, kissed her sweetly on her front porch, and then left. She wants Emma and Henry to move in with her, but she can't very well just ask that.

But maybe she can.

It's the middle of the day when Regina leaves her office headed for the sheriff's station. She was elected mayor a couple months back by a sweeping majority in the most recent election cycle, so the entire walk over to the station is filled with smiles and greetings from other residents who dared face the snow and ice on the sidewalks.

Emma had been voted sheriff (David embraced the opportunity to spend more time at home with Neil) so Regina has the element of surprise when she walks into the station and sees Emma sitting at her desk in her office. She double checks that nobody is in the holding cells before going into Emma's office with a sneaky smile.

"Regina." The blonde says, pleasantly surprised, "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to visit my favorite keeper of the peace."

Emma rolls back from her desk slightly to regard the look Regina is giving her. She knows that look, and it's nothing but trouble. Granted, it's all been trouble that Emma's enjoyed immensely, but trouble nonetheless.

"Have you got some time for a break?"

"I don't know." Emma teases, "The mayor is my boss and she's kind of a hard ass."

Regina flicks the lock on the door behind her, and lowers the blinds with a wave of her hand, "I don't think she'll mind."

Emma goes to stand, but Regina shakes her head. Without a word, she approaches Emma, grasping the blonde's shoulders, Regina straddles her lap. Her skirt rides up at the action, and Emma doesn't hesitate to drop one of her hands onto the extra expanse of exposed thigh, the other tangles in the hair at the base of Regina's head, pulling her in for a kiss.

This isn't their first afternoon quickie, but normally it's Emma showing up at the mayor's office with a begging smile. She sneaks her tongue into Regina's mouth at the same time as she sneaks her hand fully beneath her skirt. From there, she explores further, caressing the impossibly soft skin of Regina's thighs, and reaching back to cup the brunette's ass.

Regina releases a small breathy moan at the action, and Emma smiles triumphantly, "Tell me what you want, baby."

"You."

Regina's hips thrust upwards without her consent as Emma's fingers begin teasing at the edges of her panties, "Where do you want me?"

"Emma." The brunette whines, circling her hips, trying to force Emma's hand.

"Impatient." Emma accuses. She surprises Regina by standing, and depositing the brunette on her desk. She climbs on top of her girlfriend in seconds, and her hand goes back to teasing.

"Please?"

Emma complies, resting her chest against Regina's and sliding her hand into the band of the brunette's lacy panties. She strokes the soaking folds until Regina's hands grip her biceps, and squeeze hard.

She takes it as her cue to stop teasing, and slide two fingers into the wet heat. Regina's walls clench immediately at the digits and she gasps at finally being filled. Emma swallows her girlfriend's gasps, resting more of her weight on Regina as she speeds up her thrusts. When she runs short of air, she moves her lips down, kissing down the expanse of neck showing above Regina's button up.

"Come on, baby." Emma encourages, nipping gently at Regina's earlobe. She knows that Regina's a very auditory being, and she's tried to adapt. Her bedroom talk has thus improved greatly from the awkward mumblings that characterized her first attempts to talk Regina through orgasm.

"Harder." Regina breathes out.

Emma complies, "Let go for me, sugar."

Regina cannot breathe. Her fingers grasping Emma's shoulders fall to her sides, curled into fists. Her vision goes dark, but she isn't passing out, her lips part in a weak whimper.

Emma stops immediately, withdrawing her fingers, "Regina, talk to me."

But the brunette's lost inside herself, tears are escaping the corners of her eyes. She cannot breathe, and she can hardly hear Emma's words over the rushing in her ears. A single 'no' escapes her mouth. She is shaking by the time Emma's got her sitting on the couch, her red leather jacket over Regina's shoulders.

"Regina?"

Emma is kneeling in front of her, near tears herself with her hands on Regina's knees, trying to bring the mayor back, "Regina."

The brunette's eyes slide open blearily, they land on Emma in front of her, and without a second thought, she pitches herself forward into Emma's arms totally weeping now. Regina slides off the couch into Emma's lap on the ground.

When the tears finally subside, Regina doesn't remove her face from Emma's neck for a long moment. Emma doesn't push her, she keeps stroking through the brunette's hair until she's ready.

"I'm sorry." Is the first thing she says when she leans back far enough for Emma to see her tear stained face.

"Don't apologize." Emma replies immediately, "What happened, did I do something wrong?"

Emma knows how she has to be careful sometimes, how she has to stop when she and Regina argue (they've both spent enough time with the wrong people that they know exactly what to say to wound, and neither of them deserve to be wounded any longer), how she has to remind Henry sometimes not to ask about Regina's scars, how there are some nights when Regina just needs to be held, and some nights when she just needs to hold Emma.

"It's not your fault."

"Come on Regina, what was it? I've never seen you freeze up like that."

"I- it's just." She drops her eyes to her floor, "You called me sugar."

Emma blushes for a moment, it's not something she's ever called Regina before and it had just slipped out.

"It's what he used to call me." Regina explains, "When I told him no, and he was drunk, he used to call me sugar." She says shakily.

"I'm so sorry."

"You didn't know."

"I should have."

Regina shakes her head, and buries her face back into the blonde's neck, "I overreacted. It was just the name, and the weight of someone on top of me. I'm sorry- " She trails off.

Emma leans back far enough to lock eyes with Regina, "You didn't overreact, this is not your fault. Never apologize about something like this, alright?"

Regina nods.

"I love you so much, and I never want you to feel that way again." Emma promises.

"I love you too." Regina feels tears escaping her eyes once again because she's never been more sure of anything.

It's nearly one in the afternoon on a Monday, and both women still have half a day of work ahead of them, but Emma doesn't care about any of that. She presses one last kiss to the crown of Regina's head before sliding out from beneath her. She walks quickly to her desk, grabbing her cell phone, wallet, and keys, and dialing a number while Regina watches questioningly.

"Hello, Angela?" Emma says into her phone, Regina's eyebrows crawl up her forehead, Angela is her assistant at town hall, "Can you clear Mayor Mills' schedule for the rest of the day? Thanks, you're a doll."

She hangs up and hold her hand out to pull Regina to her feet.

"What was that?"

"We're going home." Emma declares, pulling her coat tighter around Regina's shoulders, and fixing her skirt.

"I have meetings."

"Not anymore."

Emma takes the mayor's hand and leads her out of the station to the bug. She holds the door open, and gives Regina a quick kiss before shutting the door.

She walks around the back of the bug so Regina won't see when she pauses for a moment, rears back, and kick a back tire as hard as she possibly can. Some days it takes all of Emma's willpower to not track that man down in Arizona.

 


	23. Chapter 23

...

Use the darkness of your past to propel you to a brighter future."

― Donata Joseph

...

The second first time Regina cannot breathe after Daniel leaves and the first first time she cannot breathe happen in the same day. The second first time isn't because a fist has collided with her flesh, it isn't because she was drowning in glass, it wasn't because a single word stole the breath from her lungs, it's because of Emma.

After she had taken Regina back 'home' to the apartment, they had curled up on the couch for the better part of the afternoon. They watched reruns on the television, Regina curled into Emma's lap beneath a warm blanket, and they sipped red wine.

Emma calls Ruby and asks if she can watch Henry for the night, and the waitress readily agrees, she's missed spending time with her favorite little man.

Emma orders a pizza (with veggies on top to appease Regina) and they eat it on the couch without plates. It reminds Emma of college when she would hole up in her dorm with her friends during finals. When it's dark outside and they've made it through a bottle of red, Emma stands and extends her hand down to pull Regina up with me, "Come on."

Regina follows as Emma leads the way down the hall to her bedroom. By now it really is their bedroom, Regina's clothes occupy two drawers of the dresser, there's a photo of the both of them with Henry at the zoo on the beside table, and Emma swears she doesn't go a single day without finding a loose brunette hair somewhere. Emma has similarly made herself and Henry at home in the mansion. They regularly refer to the guest room as Henry's room.

Now Emma shuts the door behind them and approaches Regina with a soft smile. She cups Regina's cheek, rubbing her thumb over the smooth skin, "I love you."

"I love you too." Regina beams back.

"Let me show you how much."

Emma's asking for permission because she knows that enough times, Regina hasn't had the option to say no. Regina blushes, because only Emma's the only one who's ever looked at her like this, like she's the most important person in the world.

"Alright."

Emma smiles, and pitches forward to catch Regina's laugh. Their lips slide together in the easy rhythm that they've learned over the past months. Emma walks them backwards until Regina's knees hit the edge of the bed, they tumble down together, Emma catching herself so she doesn't land on top of the brunette. They part to laugh and scoot back into the middle of the bed.

Once there, Emma perches herself easily over Regina, she lays between her girlfriend's legs and resumes their kiss. She traces the backs of Regina's teeth, exploring every inch of the mayor. Emma takes her time, kissing Regina until the brunette is shifting underneath her, encouraging her on.

Finally, Emma pulls back, nipping Regina's bottom lip once more lightly. She trails her hand down Regina's neck to the first of the buttons on the brunette's shirt. She reverently undoes each button to the top edge of Regina's skirt where she untucks it.

Goosebumps break out across Regina's skin as Emma pushes the shirt off her shoulders. She kisses a line down the center of Regina's body following the line of the buttons, smiling when Regina shivers. She nips at the tops of Regina's breasts spilling from the top of her bra, she draws out this teasing for as long as she possibly can before giving in and reaching behind Regina to deftly undo the clasp of her bra with one hand.

She pulls the straps off Regina's shoulders, and the cups fall away to reveal dusky nipples already begging for attention. Emma doesn't hesitate in catching one between her lips, she circles her tongue around the nipple, coaxing it to a stiff peak before sucking at it. She palms the other breast, taking pleasure in how it spills over, too large to contain in one hand.

She's always been a sucker for Regina's chest, ever since the first time she was granted access. It was after a date and they were sitting in the front seat of the bug, kissing like teenagers. Emma had been trying to keep her hands respectfully at Regina's neck and waist, but the brunette had smiled into her mouth, taking one of Emma's hands and placing it over one of her breasts.

Now she laves attention between both of them with her mouth and hands. She foolishly tries to fit as much of one as she can in her mouth, drawing a laugh from Regina as she arches her back, encouraging Emma on.

One of Regina's hands tangles through blonde hair, and the other holds her shoulder for support. Emma feels the rough edges of the scar that marks the center of Regina's left hand against her shoulder, and she pulls back from her breasts for a minute. She takes both of Regina's hands in hers and carefully kisses each scar.

Most of them are just white lines now, fading and nearly disappearing, but the one along her left palm is still raised and pink. She kisses it with the utmost care, and when she looks up at Regina again, she sees tears shining in her eyes.

Emma lets her hands go, and goes back up to kiss Regina gently on the lips, "I love you."

She kisses along Regina's jaw to her ear where she whispers, "I love you." She trails kisses down the mayor's neck to her shoulder, "I love you." She marks a path across the top of Regina's chest, "I love you."

"Please, Emma." The mayor breathes out.

Emma presses one final kiss to each stiffened nipple before moving down Regina's body. She draws a trail with her tongue to the waist of Regina's skirt.

She struggles with the side clasp, her fingers stumbling as she tries to unhook the metal with her lip caught between her teeth.

"Stupid thing." She mutters angrily, giving up and unzipping it to try and pull it from Regina's hips anyway.

The brunette laughs and smacks her hands away from where they're seconds away from ripping the skirt. She unhooks it herself and lifts her hips, pushing it down and kicking it off, "Impatient."

Emma recognizes the word as one she had accused Regina of being earlier in the day, and she growls playfully, sliding down and getting comfortable between Regina's legs. She runs her thumbs over the brunette's hip bones, frowning just the slightest bit when she sees that they're the smallest bit more prominent than normal. She kisses each ridge.

Emma can see evidence of her girlfriend's arousal soaking through her panties, she hooks her fingers under the lace and drags it down until Regina can kick the garment off. Regina blushes under Emma's lustful gaze.

"You're so beautiful." Emma breathes, as many times as she's seen Regina like this, bare, hair mussed, chest heaving, she'll never get used to it.

Without delay, she lowers her mouth to where she knows Regina needs it most. She presses light kisses to Regina's lips until the mayor's hips are jutting up needfully, she gives in, sliding her tongue between her girlfriend's folds in long broad strokes.

She splays one hand over Regina's lower stomach to keep her in place, Regina's hands weave through her hair for that same reason while Emma's moves get more persistent. She sucks Regina's clit into her mouth, flicking it with her tongue while she slips one finger in.

The brunette moans grow steadily louder when Emma starts pumping her finger in time with her mouth.

"More." Regina begs.

Emma smiles, sliding a second, then third finger into Regina. Her wrist works, thrusting in opposition Regina's moving hips. She feels Regina's walls clenching around her fingers and knows that she's flying towards the edge. Emma tongues her clit with renewed vigor, giving Regina exactly what she needs to reach her release.

Her thighs tremble, and her back arches as she cries out Emma's name. Emma removes her fingers, stroking Regina back down to earth before she climbs back up the brunette's body. Regina is still breathing hard, but she has a lazy smile when Emma kisses her forehead.

"I love you." Emma grins.


	24. Chapter 24

...

"Don't try to be the missing key in my life, and I won't be the unmatched lock, that doesn't let you in."  
― Anthony Liccione

...

The first time that Regina feels safe in her own home is when she's been dating Emma for fifteen months. The blonde shows up to the mansion one Saturday morning totally unannounced with a large bag over her shoulder, and Henry bounding into Regina's legs once she opens the door.

"Gina!" He exclaims, he's just barely turned five, but he's still on the small side.

"Hello, handsome boy." Regina smiles, it's her favorite nickname for him, and he always breaks out a toothy grin at it, "What are you doing here?"

"Momma's gonna change your locks."

Regina quirks an eyebrow at Emma, who immediately blushes, "She is, is she?"

"Mhm, do you have any snacks?" Henry asks, already slipping around Regina and heading for the kitchen. He knows exactly where things are (Regina's put the goldfish and fruit snacks she buys for him on the bottom shelf so that he can reach them).

When it's just the two of them left in the doorway, Regina just smirks at Emma questioningly, "Changing my locks?"

"Don't get too excited, it's not a figure of speech." She reaches into her bag and withdraws a drill, "This is all business."

Regina laughs and gestures to her door, "By all means, go ahead. I'll go see what Henry's gotten his hands on."

In the kitchen, Regina finds Henry on the floor with the box of goldfish between his legs.

"What are you up to?"

"Snackin'." He answers easily. Regina sits down on the floor beside him and listens as he tells her all about his day yesterday in first grade where they made some playdough type goop.

They sit there for a decnet while until Emma calls for help from the front door. When Regina comes down the hall, she sees Emma bent in half, finagleing something in the door. The blonde has shed her red leather jacket and is now only in her white wifebeater, she's wearing this ridiculous toolbelt which is dragging at her jeans.

Regina smiles, she can see the top of Emma's lacy underwear. She comes down the hall and leans against her girlfriend, "You called for me?"

Regina teasingly presses her hips against Emma's ass.

Emma stands upright, turning and walking Regina backwards until she bumps into the wall of the hallway. It's the same wall that Daniel had backed her into nearly two years ago, but that's the last thing on her mind when Emma presses her smiling lips against hers.

They kiss in the front hall with the door open, the lock mechanism only halfway removed. They only break apart when a small voice laughs out 'ew' from the entryway to the kitchen.

Emma blushes, but Regina joins in laughing with Henry, "Ew?"

"Ew, kissing is gross." Henry says.

"No it's not." Regina starts down the hallway, "Are you jealous? Do you want some kisses too?"

"No!" The boy is holding his stomach, trying to contain his excited laughter.

"I think you do."

"No!"

He takes off down the hall around the corner towards the front room, Regina jogs after him. Emma can hear his peal of laughter from the doorway when Regina must catch up to him. She follows the laughter slowly, finding Regina kneeling over Henry on the living room floor, tickling him and peppering kisses all over his face.

Emma watches from the doorway with a smile. She wants this, she wants this every weekend, every day, she wants to wake up with Regina every morning.

When Regina relents and lets Henry go, they both turn into a giggling mess on the carpet with the boy trying to tickle Regina back, and she lets him. Emma goes back to finishing the door.

Regina comes to check on her progress when she's just about finished. Emma tightens the final screws and stands triumphantly.

"Ta-da!" She inserts one of the keys and turns it to prove her success.

Emma drops the three keys that came with the lock set into Regina's hand, "Thank you." Regina smiles.

"Of course."

The mayor draws her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment. She seems to come up with some sort of decision because she slips one of the keys off the ring and holds it out to Emma.

"I want you to have this."

"Are you sure?"

Regina nods, "I don't want to push you into anything, but I want you to be able to come and go. I want you and Henry to feel at home here, and part of that is having access."

"I already feel at home."

"Oh?" Regina asks.

"Because I'm with you."

Regina laughs, "That is so cheesy."

"You loved it." Emma accuses, moving in for a quick triumphant kiss, "Are you hungry? I'm feeling some lunch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Emma's always feeling some lunch


	25. Chapter 25

...

"My mother... she is beautiful, softened at the edges and tempered with a spine of steel. I want to grow old and be like her."  
― Jodi Picoult

...

The first time Regina is speechless after is about a year after that. She married Emma in the Spring in a small ceremony, Henry was the ring bearer in a small tux. He had his brows scrunched in concentration the whole way down the aisle, trying to walk perfectly to the music.

The three of them live in the mansion together, and find an easy flow of domesticity. Regina adopted Henry to become his second legal guardian. It was a simple decision the way Emma brought it up one night after dinner when they had put Henry down for the night and were curled on the couch together. She said it only made sense, they were married, they were all living together, Henry looked to her as a parent anyway, it was a logical step.

Regina had no choice but to say yes.

Now she is sitting in her office, trying her very best to focus on the budget proposal in front of her. It's nearly the end of the quarter and she needs to get these done, but the longer she stares at them, the more the numbers swim before her eyes.

Regina is just about to give up when her phone rings, the caller ID brings a smile to her face, "Emma."

"Hey, Gina. I need you to pick up Henry from school."

"Ok sure, are you working late tonight?"

There's a sigh on the other end of the line, "No, I need you to go get him now."

"What's wrong?"

Finally Regina can hear the edge of panic in her wife's voice when she explains, "Henry got hurt at recess, something about jumping off the swings, and he went to the nurse, but he's not coping well so they said I should go get him. But I'm still halfway across town on a call."

"I'm on my way." Regina says already pushing away from her desk and grabbing her purse and keys.

She arrives at the school in record time, parking haphazardly and trying to keep herself from sprinting up the steps. She locates the nurse's clinic easily enough and when she steps in, an elderly woman with coke bottle glasses looks her up and down questioningly.

"I'm here to pick up Henry Swan." Regina says with as much authority as she can muster.

"I'll need you to see your identification."

Regina glares and fishes through her wallet for her drivers licsence.

The nurse types something into the computer and it makes a dissatisfied beep, "You're not his mother."

"I'm his legal guardian."

"You're not on his pick up list."

Regina practically growls, "Who is on his pick up list?"

The nurse glares right back, "That's not information I can give you."

"This is ridiculous." Regina fumes, "I'm married to his mother, he may not have my last name, but he's very much my son."

"Well I can't very well just take your word for it."

"Will you just let me see him?"

"You know I can't do that."

If looks could kill, the nurse would surely be dead by now, finally, a thought crosses her mind, "Check his home address. It's the same as the one on my license." They may have forgotten to add Regina to Henry's pick up list, but they had changed his address at the beginning of the year when Emma and Henry officially moved out of the apartment.

The nurse begrudgingly did as Regina requested. She seemed almost disappointed when she verified they were the same.

"You can go see him, but I'll have to call Ms. Swan to verify that it's alright for you to take him."

"Thank you." Regina mutters insincerely. She follows the nurse's directives to a back room where Henry is sitting in a comfy looking chair with tear tracks on his cheeks. He's got bandaids on both knees and his palms are looking a little raw from his tumble.

"Henry." She says when she sees the distressed boy. She kneels down while he jumps off his chair to hug her.

"Mommy." He exclaims. It's the first time he's ever called her that, normally it's Gina. The mayor is rendered speechless at the name. She's assumed a parental role in Henry's life ever since she and Emma got serious, but it's something else entirely hearing that name come from Henry.

Regina catches him in her arms, and rubs his back reassuringly. He buries his face in her neck and sniffles sadly.

"Are you alright, handsome boy?"

He nods tragically, the picture of a tiny martyr taking one for the team.

The nurse pokes her head in to tell her that Emma's given her permission to take their son home and have her added to his pick up list.

When they get home, he's still a bit teary, and Regina desperately doesn't want to finish her work so they have a movie evening and Regina even orders a pizza. When Emma gets home (she did end up being late, coming through the front door around eight) she finds both of them passed out on the couch, the ends of 'Lion King' playing on the TV.

Regina sprawled ungracefully with her hair fanning across the whole armrest, and Henry laying on top of her. The pizza, half eaten, is cold in it's box on the coffee table, makes Emma chuckle.

She cleans up their impromptu dinner, and shuts off the TV. Emma carries Henry up the stairs and tucks him in, he doesn't even stir the whole way.

Back downstairs, she kisses Regina's forehead to wake her.

"Our boy is down for the night." She tells Regina when she seems a bit dazed.

The brunette cracks a wide smile, "Our boy."

 


	26. Chapter 26

...

"She didn't need to understand the meaning of life; it was enough to find someone who did, and then fall asleep in his arms and sleep as a child sleeps, knowing that someone stronger than you is protecting you from all evil and all danger"  
― Paulo Coelho, Brida

...

The first time Regina is unsure of herself is when she's thirty four, she's been married to Emma for nearly two years, Henry is turning seven soon.

They think for a long time about adopting. They go through the background checks, they both become cleared to be foster parents, Regina buys a new bookcase so she can move the last of her things out of the spare bedroom so it can become another child's room.

They get to the final stages of the process with a little girl in Tennessee, they have all of their ducks in a row, the agency handling the little girl's case has it narrowed down to Emma and Regina and one other family.

Emma buys lilac paint for the spare room (Regina vehemently refuses to let pink paint anywhere near the home).

They don't get her. The house is subdued for two days while they both mourn the loss of something they never did have. Emma suggests they keep trying one night when they're lying in bed, both pretending to try to fall asleep.

"You know there's more kids out there who need a home."

Regina bites her lip in the dark, tangles her legs with Emma's, and pulls herself impossibly closer to her wife, "I know." She nods.

Her head is on Emma's chest, and she can hear Emma's heartbeat in her ear, "You don't want to keep trying." Emma says after Regina counts twelve beats of silence. It's not an accusation so much as a statement of fact.

"No."

"Why?"

Regina tries to get her thoughts in order, she rubs her thumb over Emma's ribs, "This, right here, with you and Henry, is enough."

"But you-"

"I know what I said before, but I was wrong. While I would welcome a new addition, our family is perfect the way it is."

"Alright." Emma doesn't push. She kisses the top of Regina's head, and lets the brunette pull her closer. She's learned over the years that Regina's got a thing for cuddling, Regina has to be the one who initiates it, and the one who ends it. There were a few mornings when they first got together that Emma would wake up before the mayor (normally on weekends when Regina let herself sleep in) and would carefully untangle herself from the brunette.

On those occasions, Regina always woke disoriented and uneasy, she would pad downstairs with her hair a mess, shirt hanging off a shoulder (she began sleeping in Emma's large t-shirts ever since she had the access to steal them), and sleep still crusted in the corners of her eyes, looking for Emma. She would find the blonde cooking in the kitchen, or sipping coffee with the newspaper in the living room, and would smile relieved.

Those mornings, Emma would crawl back in bed with Regina, holding her close, or they would cuddle on the couch until Henry came bounding downstairs to join them and ask about breakfast. It isn't ever a clinginess thing, Regina sometimes just needed the tactile reassurance that Emma was still there.

The next morning after their talk about trying to adopt again, Regina wakes up first, and Emma finds her making pancakes barefoot, humming along to the radio (that Emma bought her one year for her birthday).

Regina comes home from work that day with one of the widest smiles that Emma's ever seen.

"What's got you smiling so big?" Emma asks.

"Miner's Day is coming up."

"You hate Miner's Day." Emma accuses, remembering the years she's spent trying to keep Regina sane while the mayor ran around trying to organize the whole celebration.

"Yes, I do. But the mayor get's to pick the charity we support."

"And you're not going to pick the nunnery?"

Regina laughs shortly, "Like they need anymore funds, I've seen their finances."

"So who have you picked?"

"Florence House."

Emma waits for an explanation.

"It's a battered women's shelter in Portland."

"Gina-" Emma's concern is evident, this is the closest they've gotten to talking about it.

"I know what you're going to say, but this is what I want to do." Regina says, she's still got the widest smile, "I want to help women who are where I was. I was lucky, I have you, not everyone has that."

"Alright." Emma nods, she supports Regina no matter what she sets her mind to.

A growling from the doorway brings them away from their moment, "What the hell is that?" Regina asks.

In the doorway of the kitchen is a small white scraggly dog. It looks like a sort of jack russell terrier mix with wiry hair, "It's a puppy."

"Why is it in our home?"

"She was running the streets today and when I brought her to the pound, they told me that she's a stray that keeps escaping. They were going to put her down."

Regina shoots a glance between her wife and the dog, and instantly knows two things. First, Emma has brought the dog home specifically for Regina as a sort of placeholder for their adoption misstep, and second, there's no way that Emma's going to take no for an answer.

"You need to wash her, she smells like a sewer."

"Yes!" Emma cheers, fist pumping the air and doing a small dance.

...

The last time Regina is unsure is when she's forty. She's been married to Emma for nearly eight years, Henry is turning thirteen soon, and her loves the life the three of them have made together.

Regina pushes her reading glasses up her nose (she hates that she needs them now, but Emma swears they're sexy, so she uses them) and curls her feet beneath herself on the couch of her study. It's late at night and as such she's in her pajamas.

But she's finishing the logistics for Miner's Day which happens in two days, so she's sipping tea instead of a cider.

She hears Emma open the front door and drop her things in the hall closet before padding down the hall to the study. The second Emma pokes her head in the door, a low growl fills the room.

"Oh hush, Peanut." Regina admonishes, stroking the small dog curled beside her on the couch.

"I should have never gotten you that little demon."

"Don't you talk about my baby that way." Regina smirks. Ever since the first day, Peanut had taken a liking to Regina, even becoming protective of the brunette and growling at Emma.

"Tell your baby not to talk to  _me_  like that."

Emma rolls her eyes, and shoos Peanut out of the study, taking the dog's spot on the couch, "How's everything looking?"

"Crazy as usual."

Emma nods and rubs her wife's shoulders, "Let's go to bed, you could use a break."  
"I could, or you could?" Regina laughs.

"Same difference."

Regina lets Emma talk her into calling it a night. Miner's Day this year is the best one yet (the have been steadily increasing since Regina won her first election), the town raises a record amount for Florence House.

One day, that summer when it's warm outside, Regina cleans out the spare room. She finally assembles the bookcase she bought six years ago, and she finds the lilac paint they had intended to use for their daughter's room. She stares for a long moment at the can, as though it's personally assaulted her.

Finally, she grabs the can and walks determinedly from the house. She goes next door and rings the bell, Mary-Margaret answers, she's six months pregnant and they've just found out it's going to be a girl. She was just talking to Regina the other day about needing to repaint Neil's old room.

This cleaning out feels good, she airs out the last of her monsters hiding in the closets and behind the old furniture. She finds a small piece of glass in the hallway closet behind Emma's boots. It's tiny, and if it wasn't flecked with blood she might have been able to believe it didn't slide under the door nearly fifteen years ago after a vase shattered on the floor.

She throws the shard away without a second thought.

The scars on her hands don't ache anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Florence House is a real domestic violence shelter in Maine.  
> Thank you for reading, I hope that I've done this story justice.


End file.
